There must be more...

2006-11-09T05:23:00.000+08:00

THE HOUSEWARMING

Hey Everybody!

This is Jeff Schroeder checking in. I'm back from my 2 month journey to Africa and Europe and feelin' fine, feelin' fine. Anyone who wants to know how it went feel free to drop me a line: djjazzyjef@gmail.com, or call me at 604 782 0874. It was an adventure that took me to the warm heart of Africa, the peaks of the French Alps, the beaches of south Spain, the castles of the Rhine Valley of Germany and to the heart of a God who is bent on being my friend...

But that's not why I'm making this post. I just wanted to cordially invite anyone who happens to mosy onto this site to LYDIAS HOUSEWARMING which will be Sat. Nov.25th at 7pm at Sarah Osborne's house. For a detailed description of the night and a map go visit: www.lydiashouse.ca

It will be Lydia's first gathering where anyone and everyone can come. We want to be together to foster relationships and partnerships in pursueing God dreams, share some art, sample some organic teas and tasty treats, and hear some great music. And we are designing the night for YOU to have oppertunity to share YOUR art/craft/heart. If you have art (photography, dance, paintings, poetry, monologues, film, etc...) or songs please contact me at: admin@lydiashouse.ca and let me know so I can give you some time in the evening and discuss what kind of set up you need and how we can help.

Blessings to all who call Christ friend

Jeff Schroeder
of the house of lydia

2006-08-19T15:12:00.001+08:00

The Heart Warming

Hello friends,

Lydia's first night out was on Aug. 5 in the back of the Moerman's forest of a backyard...with COUCHES and TIKI TORCHES. For those of you who came out to Lydia's kick off evening of peace, post-rock, and pastries you know that it was an amazing ingathering of Jesus-loving people who want to see him praised in tons of crazy ways in our lives, in the church, and most importantly - in the world. The night went famously. There was a monologue, live music, dance, unfolding art, discussion surrounding what Lydia's house is about, and amazing prayer.

What's next? We are currently assembling a team of people to run with this vision of establishing a new home for creative worship (and more!). If you want to be a part of this and we haven't spoken to you about it, please contact us at admin@lydiashouse.ca and let us know what is on YOUR heart to do. Because Lydia's house is made beautiful by YOU. The more the people we have as a part of this new house, the more life and warmth there will be. Let's do this together. So with out further ado you are invited to THE HEART WARMING...

Sat. Aug.26th Schroeder's house 1pm
23728 110th ave Maple Ridge

At the Heart Warming we will gather, round table style, at my house, and see how we can pursue this vision together, and plan an event for November comprised of whatever it is that is on the collective heart of the Lydia team.

This site will be used as a temporary discussion forum for the Lydia team connecting with eachother, and bouncing ideas off eachother. So feel free to comment as needed until a proper discussion forum can be made...

...Lydia's house is warming up for the fall and winter months...stay tuned to LYDIASHOUSE.CA
-jeF of the house of Lydia

2006-07-26T11:18:00.000+08:00

2006-07-11T03:22:00.000+08:00

Lydia's house is coming.
Begin dreaming.
Stay tuned.
Fall 2006
lydiashouse.ca

-jeF

2006-06-10T09:30:00.000+08:00

Back in supernatural British Columbia!!!

Hello all you wonderful BC'ers, and beyond! I've been back now for a week or so now from my Collision Tour across Canada and America and am feelin' fine! I actually went on a 4 day hike with some grade 7 students the last 4 days up Golden Ears this week as well and had a blast! God did amazing things in and through us on this trip. I found it amazing to see different styles and sizes of churches in each province and state all crying out to God in worship, and interceding for North America together!

Thank you, thank you, thank you - again to all who supported me financially on this trip, and my trip coming up to Africa and Europe! I am a blessed man. Blessed to have friends and family around me that will kick my butt out the door on these grand adventures with money in my pocket. It blows me away when I stop and think of all the love, friendship, and finances that everyone has drown me in at this stage of my life - I will not forget! God is faithful! God used YOU to show his faithfulness! We are the body of Christ and we support eachother because we are ALL doing HIS work - it's not our own. I want to give SO MUCH now! Freely we receive, freely we give! I am in a season of harvest right now it seems as so much provision has come in to launch out and live some of my dreams (travelling across Canada, calling nations to prayer, taking a plane overseas and experiencing diverse cultures, exploring, and having adventures). Because of this transition and season of great blessing, I also feel the Lord drawing me in close as if to whisper something in my ear. Secrets. Mysteries. Wonders. Promises. I feel he is moving me into a season of consecration and prayer. That's what I took away from the trip across Canada - a sense that God really wants...me! He wants me. He wants you. He wants us close, and he wants to talk with us. This recquires listening, and this requires obedience and simple faith. I have to...shut up! I have to...believe when he says something to me with the heart of a child. I have to...obey what he says. Then...I just hang on for the ride of rides; life in the everlasting KINGDOM of God! He is mighty, he is holy - forever honored and adored! And he is also...friendly too. So it's a time of refining, purifying. It's a time of great shift in my life. Growing up. Making decisions based on the truth of what God is saying to me, and the witness of my heart. It's a time to devour and feast on the word of God. I feel fight coming. I feel strength returning to my legs to run. But for now it's a time of consecration, prayer, and purification. He spoke to me out of Joshua 3:5

"Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you."

So I am planning on doing just that...while having a KICKIN' summer in the meantime. Also, this summer will bring lots of prayer and music making and planning about LYDIAS HOUSE! Yes, it is finally materializing. A community of worshippers. Lovers and fighters. Real people loving one another expressing high praise in myriads of shapes colors, movements, melodies, prose, emotions, discussions, and foods! Please give me ideas about what you see when you think about a community of worshippers. What do YOU see?

I leave you with a scripture that hit me today in a discussion with Maria about eternity, the new heaven and the new earth:

Ecc 3
9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

-jeF

bands: COUNTING HEARTBEATS!!! Check these guys out on myspace.com/countingheartbeats

2006-05-28T12:11:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone!
I'm in Cody, Wyoming. It's this small town in the middle of NOWHERE! Seriously, driving through Wyoming (which was breathtaking by the way) you come to this desert-like mountainous region, and you're thinking...no one can survive out here. Then BOOM - Cody Wyoming.
I drove 13 hours yesterday from Madison, Wisconsin to Rapid City South Dakota, and 9 hours today from Rapid City (through Mt. Rushmore park...pretty cool faces, WICKED AWESOME FOREST/MOUNTAINS) to Cody. I'm exhausted but my heart is filled with wonder. God is shaking the nations. He's shaking Canada, and he's shaking the states. I drove through the "Badlands" of South Dakota at night (passed a MILLION signs for Wall Drug, and the Corn Palace, neither of which we got to see) and there was an electrical storm. I was flying down the highway behind the wheel of a '91 Beauville van with a trailer full of equipment and luggage, and 7 friends in the van sleeping listening to Stan Rogers "Northwest Passage" and singing while God lit up the night sky all around me with lightning bolt after lightning bolt. "Your lightning's lit up the world. The earth it trembled and shook" - Heather Clark. He is majestic, he is exalted, he is at work in the earth - let the kingdom come. Let it come in me.

We have two stops left after our Cody service tomorrow morning (sunday). Billings Montana, then Spokane Washington, then I'm back on the 31st. God bless all of you. Pray that we would really connect with these last three American churches. We want to sow good things from the Lord into these places and call for the kingdom to come in America. Partner with them in prayer, worship, cry out, laugh, do skits, hang out, eat, etc...

See you soon everyone!
Something rattling something brewing, something new's going down
Spirit is moving, Jesus is doing, kingdom a'workin' this town... -Russ Rosen

-jeF

2006-05-21T19:49:00.000+08:00

"No more wasting time. The days are nearly over.
Our groom is quickly coming. He greets us with a kiss
And proclaims, "You have been chosen, for such a time as this"
-Tracy Rahn

God is good! I'm in Cambridge, ON and my tummy is full of french toast, I need a nap, we're heading to another church this morning, we did two services yesterday and we are going to have a rest tomorrow and hang out in TORONTO, BABY! The most culturally/ethinically diverse city in the world. We got a taste of this two days ago when we visited a foursquare church completely full of immigrants from Nigeria! They were passionate worshippers (dancers!) and prayers. WOW WOW WOW. And so welcoming. They brought me into their home and gave me THEIR big bed, and the guy slept in the living room on the floor even though I insisted against it. Dif. culture in Nigeria. WE in Canada have much to learn about generositiy, and celebratory praise from them (among MANY other things).

I don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to say I am well and that God is doing amazing things in each church we go to in each amazing city. We were in Uxbridge, MASS, New York (we fed the poor in the Bronx), then we came to Toronto. ONWARDS!
I love all you guys, and can't wait to see you all. Thanks for your continued support. Rock and roll!
-jeF
Gal. 6, Psalm 24, I Jn

2006-05-10T11:48:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! Je suis à Gatineau, aux Quebec ce soir, it je suis très bien! Je t`aime, Jesus, Je t`aime. I got a chance to do some serious driving in the last few days. I drove a lot in Manitoba, and when we left Beausejour to drive straight 30 hours to Gatineau Québec. Unfortunately a couple hours outside of Thunder Bay, Ontario (in the middle of no where in a town called Schreiber or something) our front right wheel went hay-wire. The bearing wore out, and the roder (spelling?) had to be replaced too, so we had to camp out on the side of the road all night! ADVENTURE!!! There were some groans and grumbles, but I was so excited! I love being stranded in the middle of no where. People slept in the van, and i was going to sleep outside, but decided to play some music on my newly acquired penny whistle, and light a candle out in the wilderness under the stars as worship to God. Pierre came out too when the candle was burned down and started to burn some grass in the flame. Fast forward an hour later, and me Amy and Pierre were standing in front of a roaring fire in the middle of no where. We stayed up all night and watched the fire, pulled dead birch branches out of the forest, and watched the wilderness wake up. It was AWESOME! OH! And earlier on, i bought some fire works because they are legal in ontario, and lit them off. boo yah.

we had to call the cops and get a ride into town in their cars, then we got our van towed there too. we got our van fixed by these awesome guys who came in after hours to fix it for us. meanwhile we rented a hotel room and napped all afternoon. then we drove through the whole night in the fog watching out for the many moose that come out at night and laughing hysterically watching micheal j. fox and christopher lloyd bounce around the sands of time. trilogy baby. you knew it was coming. so tired.

i drove from sault st. marie to north bay (6 hours) starting at 3:30 am. me and amy watched the sunrise over ontario. the forests of ontario surrounding the great lakes are to die for! birch trees, firey red maples, green pines, great elms. we saw the sun ignite all the colors of may along the highway with superior, and huron in the distance. we saw a fox! it was one of the most beautiful things i`ve ever seen in my entire life. we are going to parliament hill tomorrow to pray, Montréal in the evening, then Québec City the next day. We are staying at pierres house tonight. a whole bunch of his youth came over and we sang worship together in french AND englilsh! It was amazing. In Québec our main objectives are to: listen, learn, and pray. Sound like a plan? I love you all. We are all safe, in good health, and stoked to be in Quebec. I`m terribly sleep deprived..i can`t believe i wrote even this much. hahaha! LAL. (laugh and lunge). shalom, friends. the journey continues! the kingdom advances!
-jeF

2006-05-07T12:47:00.000+08:00

OH CANADA

"Ah for just one time, I would take the northwest passage
To find the hand of Franklin reaching for the beaufort sea.
Tracing one warm line through a land so wide and savage
and make a northwest passage to the sea" - Stan Rogers

so so so so SOOOOOOOOOO much to say. HI EVERYONE! It's Jeff! I'm in MANITOBA BABY! I'm so full of...awe, excitment, ...fatigue, ....I'm bursting at the seams! Sorry I haven't posted sooner, this is the first time I've got internet so far this trip! It's May 6th for crying out loud, and I've already crossed 3.5 provinces in this glorious and vast country of ours. First a couple points of business:

1. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who supported to me through prayer, friendship, words of affirmation, songs, poems, stories, moolah, etc... this past month. You guys have no idea how blessed I am to be on this trip. We are blessed to be witnesses. I could live 3 life times off of the encouragement I received on my suprise 22nd birthday/going away party. I'm not kidding. I'm still processing it, ...along with the million and one amazing things that I have seen, been a part of, experienced, felt, etc... on this trip so far. And there's so much to come. So thank you for your support everyone, I can't say it enough. You have rocked me to the core. I wept reading the cards, and counting all the finacial gifts. And a HUGE thank you again to the lovely, the charming, the amazing lady named Maria for planning it all.

2. If you want to know where I am you can go to: www.pacificlife.edu/tour and it will have our itinerary or whatever. We're in Beausejour Manitoba, and are heading to Gatineau Quebec tomorrow, then Montreal, and Quebec City for some serious intercession for Canada and it's many people groups - especially french/english relations, and First Nations peoples.

I'm sorry I can't say much, there's a guy we're staying with who is waiting up to use the internet, but just know that so far we've been to Princeton, Cranbrook, Calgary, Millet, Edmonton, Saskatoon, Moosejaw, Niverville, and now Beausejour and each place has been unique and amazing in it's own way. I have loved seeing the land. There is such a strength inherant in the prairies. There's something about seeing flat fields stretching as far as the eye can see. It's barren, yet majestic...vast, yet welcoming. We live in a HUGE country. MOre later! Thank you for praying for our team. We are all in good health, and in good spirits and God has blessed us with safety and great hospitatlity in each city/town.
Shalom!

-jeF
Let the Canada know the fullness of the Kingdom! WOO WOO!

2006-04-18T15:23:00.000+08:00

Often hymns just say it all...

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Refrain

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

God has me in an amazing season of blessing, favour, and HARVEST.
Those who sow generously, reap generously. It's all true.
I'm blown away at his provision, his confirmation, his anointing,
his faithfulness, and how he places me in a family and a community
who loves and supports me above and beyond what I would ever
expect or even dare to ask for. God is drowning me in benevolent love.
I will expand later, but thank you to all who have given to me
and supported me in these last weeks. What does a guy say to
the people he loves most who have poured into his life extravagant
gifts?..........thank you. I love you all. XOXO.
I'd also like to anounce publically that Maria Karogiannis is one
amazing woman. A gift from God, a true friend, and someone who
cares for me deeper than I can comprehend even when I feel I
don't deserve it. You rock my world, and I know I've thanked you,
but thank you again for bringing friends and family together for the
sole purpose of blessing me in my journey. I appreciate you, and honor
you here and now. And I'd also like to give three lifetimes of thanks to the
God who stays true to his promises. I am blessed.
Great is thy faithfulness.

shalom, friends
-jeF

2006-04-06T14:08:00.000+08:00

Here I raise mine Ebenezer; Hither by Thy help I'm come
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure, Safely to arrive at home
-excerpt from "Come Thou Fount" (pg.9 in my hymnal)

Literally speaking, an Ebenezer is a "stone of help," or a reminder of God’s Holy Presence and Divine aid. Spiritually and theologically speaking, an Ebenezer can be nearly anything that reminds us of God’s presence and help
http://www.revneal.org/Writings/whatsan.htm

raise your ebenezers, friends!
remember the Lord who sustains you
-jeF

2006-03-31T16:41:00.000+08:00

I found this lament and edited it a bit (let me know what you think)

Jesus
You are the only genuine expression of goodness
You are the only independent being on earth or in the spirit world
The bodies, souls, and spirits of everyone else rely on you whether they know it or not
You are God today just as much as you were when you spoke the universe into existence
And I know you haven’t lost your groove

But, Jesus, I lose sleep thinking about how people don’t give a #@!* about you
I cry tears that burn because you are not known in my country
This nation does not acknowledge you in your entirety
To many you are an ominous and peculiar deity that most likely exists, and will hopefully rescue them from this hell called earth, even though they’ve done dick-hall to deserve anything good, and don’t really give a rip about you

The full extent of your love has already been shown at Golgotha, and you continue to reveal yourself in universal speech to everyone, everywhere, all the time - even though no one (including me) deserves it.
Yet we’d rather wallow and laugh alone
Around here, your name and reputation is belittled into ignorant blasphemies
Somehow the name that shook nations has become a common cuss and the cross you hung on became the bling bling crown jewel that superstars hang around their necks on MTV
Your legacy is a ridiculous legend to fuel the entertainment industry and to give clever stand up comedians a cheap gag.
You are the laughing stock of pop-culture, Jesus!
How can you take it! ‘Cause I can’t! ‘Cause I won’t!
And it makes me want to scream, and cry, and run
They have put up on display the good, the bad, and the ugly for public mockery; “Trash EVERYTHING!”
their lives say.
They have deconstructed the world and their minds to the degree that even the possibility of anything being pure, good, true, or beautiful is out of the question
What we don’t see on the TV is the part of the show when Leno and Letterman go home and……cry……..themselves……. to sleep………
Because they are left with this sinking feeling that all that is good has been tossed out like yesterdays coffee grinds and somehow all that is wrong remains inside of them
In the collective mind of western society all is lost.

Your reality has been trivialized into a mere religion of man instead of the only power present in the universe to bring good out of our corruption and brokenness
And even your people, the church, is a loose collection of self-sufficient machines scattered around the porn shops, and lovely subdivisions each singing their own songs and conducting their own little Sunday parties because we’ll do anything to avoid the point

Somewhere inside everyone is the voice that says:
“Is there anyone that can show me something real?
Something that lasts? Where is your “Jesus” now?
When’s the last time you saw him? Perhaps we’ve lost him.
Because if he is who he says he is……then, I need him.
And I need him to show himself to me or else I’m @#!*ed.”

Even though they might say: “You guys are all on crack if you think that your churches and your rules and your bible reading and your songs and your prayers make any difference whatsoever. You are the phonies of the world!” I know you are real, Jesus. And we all really need you right now. I know you are the only hope for Canada and all of humanity
Do something because I’m at a loss
Thank you for rescuing me from myself and not giving up on me. You are worthy of more than you could ever receive. I give my life to the cause of making your true colors known to this world

2006-03-26T12:05:00.000+08:00

when the music fades and all is stripped away and i
...simply come
longing just to bring something that's of worth
that will bless your heart

i'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself
is not what you have recquired
you search much deeper within than the way things appear
you're looking into my heart

these words speak so profoundly to me right now...read them like you've never heard them sung. lately i've been thinking about how much I rely on music to lift me. it has great power to do that, no doubt, but the truth of the matter is that we are who we really are when the music stops, and silence rolls in and God looks at us. We are left to our own devices. The other night, God told me, "Jeff, I am with you when the music stops". My heart is His tonight. Let it be so for you. Everything is ok when we are in his grasp and laid bare. All that really matters in this life is if he has our hearts or not. i'm giving up 'trying' to be disciplined, and spiritual, and human and i plan on simply coming. Simply living. Simply loving. Simply trusting. Simply resting. Simply working. It is not easy. But it can be filled with real peace and joy when we "take it easy" with the Lord. I say this with tears. Be with Jesus, friends. He carries you tonight.
much love everyone
-jeF

IMR SHOW:March 31 - Maple RidgeAlbion Hall (10017 - 240th Street, Maple Ridge)w/ Doers, Mongoose, Bend Sinister, Ninja SpyALL AGES!Doors: 6pm / Show: 6:45pmCover: $8 at the doorSpecial deal: $6 if you bring a poster (this will be posted on our site shortly...just download, print and bring)

2006-03-22T13:28:00.000+08:00

there is no substitute for real Jesus time
...see ya!

-jeF

IMR SHOW:
March 31 - Maple RidgeAlbion Hall (10017 - 240th Street, Maple Ridge)w/ Doers, Mongoose, Bend Sinister, Ninja SpyALL AGES!Doors: 6pm / Show: 6:45pmCover: $8 at the doorSpecial deal: $6 if you bring a poster (this will be posted on our site shortly...just download, print and bring)

2006-03-13T16:00:00.000+08:00

The cross makes poor fools into rich ones
I am a rich man
"aiming for the needles eye"
I have no complaints
At the cross all pride is out of place
as are our excuses
the word of God is no ramp to elevate us
it's a sledgehammer of truth that brings humanity to it's knees

I had a picture of Lydia playing a show at a bar.
She ended with a hymn (Here is Love)
A glass was lifted, and a voice spoke:
"Cheers! Here's to the forgiveness we all need."
and men and women cried tears in their beds
with clenched fists

The gospel is powerful
like a secret
like a vaccine for an inescapable disease
J.R. Cash knew it.

...no time for cohesion...it's 12:06am...take what you will
-jeF

SHOW: IMR Maple Ridge. Mar.31st 6:00pm Albion Hall $8
www.imr.ca see for yourSELF!

2006-03-08T12:56:00.000+08:00

I feel like a phony most of the time
I know all the right words to say
but not enough heart to fill them with weight
But it's you by my side, God, that keeps me alive
-jeF

2006-02-27T12:48:00.000+08:00

IMR IN MAPLE RIDGE
March 31 - Maple Ridge
Albion Hall (10017 - 240th Street, Maple Ridge)w/ Doers, Mongoose, Bend Sinister, Ninja SpyALL AGES!Doors: 6pm / Show: 6:45pmCover: $8 at the doorSpecial deal: $6 if you bring a poster (this will be posted on our site shortly...just download, print and bring)

...if you haven't been here for a while, check my last post for some late night ponderings. If you don't care about that, then at least come to this show and bring 10 people 13 pets Your Grandma her housemaid, some lemonade, .....it's a masquarade!

-jeF

2006-02-22T16:02:00.000+08:00

midnight thoughts

1. Life is balance, and I'm feelin' tipsy. Priorities are no respectors of persons. There's always a loser.

2. Shalom is the destination of full redemption. I highly recommend you read up on the word.

3. Any understanding of Jesus Christ that is less than what the full counsel of the word of God says about him is a travesty. Either the whole bible is correct in it's teaching on Christ, or it isn't. Embrace all of Jesus Christ, lest we emasculate the gospel further. He is "the same" guy we've read about...TODAY (Heb 13:8). He is the living God, and he lives in us.

4. Jesus describes the kingdom of God like yeast working it's way throughout 3 loaves of bread until they are all "leavened" (find it). There is a roaring fire inside of me, and my heart cries out to see the leaven of the kingdom of God work it's way through all levels of society and culture in our nation, and in the nations of the earth.

5. How sweet it is when dreams become realities in your present life, not merely warm mental cravings.

6. I hate writing out major 11th chords, but I think everytime I hear one actually played I nearly pee myself in euphoria.

7. We are alive in order to give. We are designed for it. And when God blesses a people, it is to be a blessing. Where much is received, much is recquired. Think about Canada. Think about the church. Think about your family. Think about you. Then look at the nations. Look at society. Look at the family unit. Look at those around you.

2006-02-08T10:08:00.000+08:00

Lamentation Generation

I woke up with the power out,
not really something to shout about
Ice has covered up my parents hands
don't have any dreams don't have any plans.
I went out into the night, I went out to find some light
Kids are swingin' from the power lines,
nobody's home so nobody minds

I woke up on the darkest night, neighbours all were shoutin'
that they found the light. "We found the light"
Shadow jumpin all over my walls
some of them big some of them small
I went out into the night, I went out to pick a fight with anyone
Light a candle for the kids, Jesus Christ don't keep it hid!

Ice has covered my parents eyes, don't know how to see
don't know how to cry
Growin' up in some strange storm,
nobody's cold, nobody's warm.
I went out into the night, I went out to find some light
Kids are dyin' out in the snow, look at them go!
And the power's out in the heart of man
Take it from your heart put in your hand

What's the plan? Is it a dream? Is it a lie?
I think I'll let you decide.
Just light a candle for the kids, Jesus Christ don't keep it hid!
Cause nothin's hid, from us kids!
You ain't foolin' nobody with the lights out!

And the powers out in the heart of man,
take it from your heart put in your hand.
And there's something wrong in the heart of man
You take it from your heart, and put it in your hand!
Where'd you go?

- The Arcade Fire

These guys have put their finger on something. Words and music to the hidden song of hopelessness ringing in the hearts of the youth. Soundtrack to a desperate yet aware generation.

2006-01-12T07:24:00.000+08:00

So, I've listened to a lot of different music
And I've witnessed a lot of different art
And I've been a part of a lot of churchy type things
...
and I'm a fan of a little thing called "progress"

How do you see the combination of faith, community, and art progressing?
There were times when the church was THE voice for excellence...
why are we always playing catch up with the underground?
Shouldn't Jesus loving people produce the richest art?
Where is this happening NOW?
What do you WANT to see?
How?

-jeF
of the house of Lydia

2006-01-07T16:06:00.000+08:00

This feels scattered and random,
but such are the praises of God's crazy kids sometimes

The Lord is GOOD to us
He IS goodness, and he wants to fill us with it
Lord make me a huge sponge to soak up the goodness
I'll stand outside with my mouth open wide
And you just pour it in me!
I partake in the gospel of good news!
I love the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I'm am not without hope even in fear!
Because you are with me.
I am who you have created me to be.
Make me reeeally good at receiving your goodness.
I feel like a little kid!
Please, please, please, please!
After you've starved your appetite with worry,
you get excited about God's juicy goodness!
You are rich in mercy.
Holy Spirit you've not gone anywhere.
You are the comforter, and you give me strength.
You lead me into the truth and allow me to be me!
You dwell with us! You reveal Jesus. You reveal the Father!
Fill me, Lord! Fill us! Fill us with all that you are.
Fill us with all that you have for our lives!
I've doubted, and I say that I believe;
help me overcome my unbelief.
I embrace all that you have for me.
I embrace Your cross.
I embrace my cross.
And you know that there's only so much that I can take in at once.
So we will journey together
and enjoy each step.
So much vision birthing.
So much passion brewing.
So many possibilities around the corner.
So much thinking, I think I've thunk myself out of my brain!
Not nearly enough living.
Let it begin

2006-01-03T10:57:00.000+08:00

You know you had an awesome New Years when...

...You fall asleep to "Heal the world" by Michael Jackson at 5am

...Your body is sore from disco bowling 2 days after

...Your lungs hurt from laughing

...how bout you guys?

2005-12-26T18:39:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas = a strange stable filled with poor social outcasts, rich fugitives, dung, and a young family

...hey, how much snow does the middle east get anyways?

2005-12-22T02:25:00.000+08:00

Can Jesus be our everything
and fulfill us in every way?

2005-12-16T07:42:00.000+08:00

I asked God to teach me of love...

...and I think I'm discovering something
when you can't live without something
it reveals your heart towards it

-jeF

tUnEs: THE MARS VOLTA (rediscovered one of the best bands in the scene last night), "redemption" Jars of clay, "Grace" U2, "Wang dang do" Black Peppercorns, The Red Light Sting, Norma jean, Radiohead - Kid A

scripture: the peters, 1 Jn, Psalms

2005-12-11T13:42:00.000+08:00

Redemption
Jars Of Clay

We made it to a strange town
Going down the wrong road
Like any story retold
Couldn't find a common ending
We're way gone, be gone, looking for our own way

We needed a distraction
You said you were redemption

We knew it as a wrong turn
We couldn't know the things we'd gain
When we reach the other border
We look out way down past the road we came from
We're looking for redemption
It was hidden in the landscape
Of loss and love and fire and rain
Never would have come this way
Looking for redemption

We were looking out past the road we came from
Looking at redemption
Hidden in the landscape
Of loss and love and fire and rain
Never would have come this way
Looking for redemption
In the eyes of sorrow, eyes of rage
What a sordid histories they played
The drama of redemption
Redemption

-jeF (of the house of lydia)

2005-12-09T14:28:00.000+08:00

This just in:
Narnia books (all 7) on sale at Costco for 34.99, then you get $10 off with a coupon that they hand out in the store! This only lasts until Dec.11th, so if you're like me and your old chronicles are getting torn up and losing pages, there's never been a better time to pick up all the books...good Christmas break reading material you know!

IF you haven't made Lydia's house beautiful, please check out my last blog posting and join the fun!
-jeF

2005-12-03T05:28:00.000+08:00

Make Lydia's House Beautiful

As a member of the "house of Lydia", and keeping in step with it's culture, which has everything to do with releasing high praise in new ways in pursuit of Jesus and his everlasting Kingdom, I offer some random worship (for the glory of God, and for the encouragement of hearts that love his name)

1. Staring out my window this morning I saw roughly one million and one tree branches covered in pure white snow and thought, "Gorgeous! This is eye candy from the Creator." We must soak in the glory of God shown in creation regularily, and give credit where credit is due.

2. In all my wonderings about love these months, I find I am not void of it. In fact it is given to me everyday through real friends and family. It is all around me. It is in me because of Christ. It is constantly poured into me from our Father (Abba or "Daddy") in order that I might also love others with it. Check out 1 Jn 4. God IS love, and when we dwell in love, we dwell in God and he in us.

3. Phone calls from friends when you're lonely are worth their weight in gold.

4. Thank you Jesus for snowball fights, and parking lot donuts with loved ones.

5. Eating together with friends and remembering the body and blood of Jesus Christ is one the best things we can do. The giving and receiving of encouragement notes and prayer is a forgotten art in this generation. I received some notes that brought tears to my eyes. Then a friend who means more to me than she will ever know washed my feet and prayed that I'd be released in undignified worship.

6. Finishing school assignments (even when you are sick and tired) IS worship too! Don't fool yourself. Finish strong.

OK! I'm done. You're turn. Write down some random praise of your own under the comments section and make Lydia's House beautiful! Her doors are open to anyone who loves Jesus, or is loved by Jesus.

-jeF (of the house of Lydia)

2005-11-26T12:33:00.000+08:00

This morning I woke up
walked down the stairs in a semi-conscious state
And looked out my front window
listening to the rain beating on the roof.
Know what I saw?

An entire flock of birds
landing on my front lawn
and feasting on their findings!
There must have been over 200!
It was surreal yet completely exhilerating.
It was one of those flocks of birds that
flies together, and moves as one.
You know, the ones that fly in a sphere
that mystify you whenever you see them?
It seemed my front lawn was suddenly
teaming with life! Infested with tiny brown birds!
And as quickly as they came, all of the sudden
they all took off, and even inside my house
the sound of their fluttering wings beating the air in unison
startled me, and caused my heart to jump
inside my chest...

...I watched them for a while longer
and contemplated running after them
in
the
rain

-jeF

2005-11-20T07:57:00.000+08:00

here's to laughing and dancing around like a fool with a new friend
here's to improv music with all star casts
here's to praying with people in cold cars
here's to sleeping in and stumbling into the caf for brunch
here's to the sights, sounds, and smells of an autumn afternoon
here's to the precision of the human eye
especially when gazing through silouetted trees with
barren branches set against a timeless sunset
here's to street hockey with 7 kids from my street
here's to the Giver of life
Seize the day

-jeF

tunes: "seize the day" and "dance like no ones watching"- Carolyn Arends, Keane, Vince Guaraldi, Jack Johnson, Kaki King, Miles Davis, Sam Roberts, Matt Redman, U2's "all you can leave behind" album, especially "grace" and "stuck in a moment" and "peace on earth", Daphne Rademaker, IMR "silence call", Sufjan Stevens, david crowder, "festival of friends" and "Water into Wine" Bruce Cockburn

2005-11-10T15:06:00.000+08:00

The Price of Freedom

We see the poppies everywhere this time of year but usually miss the grandeur of the words that made them famous, and the price they represent.

In Flanders Fields By:

Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)

Canadian Army

IN FLANDERS FIELDS the poppies blow

Between the crosses row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

Freedom isn't free, no matter what anyone says. The price of freedom was and is blood. Remember. Honor the blood of those who have gone before us and paid the ultimate cost for our freedom. Honor the blood that takes away the sins of the world. Friday 11:11am is one full minute of silence to remember the dead. Yet my prayer is to be aware of the cost of freedom all year round.

-jeF

toons: Michael W. Smith Christmas album (1989), Charlie Brown Christmas album featuring the Vince Gauraldi Trio, CBC radio (french and english), Garden State Sound track, i am sam soundtrack, "just the way you look tonight", What a wonderful world - Louis Armstrong, Jungle Boogie and basically anything funk, Half Handed Cloud, Matt Good "disapointment", Keane, David Bazan "start without me", "options", "priests and paramedics, ...and....Matt Moerman, cuz he's so hot right now.

fav. lines: "If we could see how much You're worth - Your power, Your might, Your endless love - then surely we would never cease to praise."

2005-11-04T02:42:00.000+08:00

ALL IS WELL

"You can come to the Lord

and just cry

You can cry all night

and that's alright"

Graham Ord

Eight snot rags on my carpeted floor
...and all is well
Feelings of failure flood my being
...and all is well
It's near impossible to forgive myself sometimes
...and all is well
It seems impossible to love the way I want to right now
...and all is well
What is impossible with man is possible with God
...and all is well
What has surfaced is a disapointment; a change of plans
...and all is well
Yet I choose life, and I choose love today
...and all is well

Let my love have arms and legs
...all is well
Let my love have words and deeds
...all is well
Let my love have joyful smiles and kind looks
...all is well
Let my love have integrity and genuine care
...all is well
And even in confusion and sorrow let it be said that
...all is well
Somehow beauty rises from these ashes and
...all is well
Let my colors be true, and let this heart say
...all is well

-jeF

"All is well all is well

Lift up your voices and sing

Born is now Emmanuel

Born is our Lord and Savior

Sing Alleluia

All is well"

Michael W. Smith

2005-10-24T13:47:00.000+08:00

Fallen Colours
(an adaptation of my last post)

It seems as if I'm learning
one of lifes new languages
here in these strange days.
My tongue bumps and falters
like broken babies speech.
An excercise in being fully present
Living not in "should have's" or
"somedays" but in the here
and in the now...
The shame of both follies falls away
Will these dreams have space to breath?
Will they have feet, or maybe even wings?
Will these bones live?

I've never been here before.
I cling to you with each breath.
I want to be clothed in the brilliance of fall.
Let the enflamed leaves surround me.
Yet I am void of color...
...so in this season of radiant shades
and intricate earthen textures,
all my true colors are in you, Jesus

-jeF: a worshipper
...of the house of Lydia

"Yes, on through life's long path,
still chanting as ye go;
From youth to age,
by night and day,
In gladness and in woe."

Edward H. Plumptre 1821-1891

2005-10-18T14:40:00.000+08:00

I look within myself for any stimulating shades
and find nothing within me worthwhile
I look anywhere and everywhere
nothing good can be found
all is incomplete
and I decide

all my true colors are in You
in these strange days

2005-10-04T09:46:00.000+08:00

...here's a poem I wrote today after eating a 2-bite brownie

squish squash to the slip slide
the richness, Oh the richness
I'm falling through a tunnel named velvet
It's all pillows inside, no pin cushions or
pile drivers
just buckle up for the cycle set
vertigo vision is singing in the rain
"my thoughts are all out the window
and I'm all twisted up in the game"
Three brown bears - no goldy locks
Three brown bears
yes
bears
bears
bears
everywhere
especially inside this suculent treat

----jeF----

thank you, thank you. any analysis is welcome.

Musak: sigur ros 'takk', Jeff Buckley, new Crowder, John Coltrane, Keane, Michael Jackson, pierce pertis or something?, Sufjan Stevens, The Black Peppercorns, 'annadonia' imr, 'lively up yourself' Sir Marley, and Singing in the Rain

prayers prayed: "Forgive me Lord for I know exactly what I do"
lines sung: "It's not hard to fall when you know that you just don't know" -Damien Rice
"I'm a worn out heart, in a time worn out" - Kevin Prosche

2005-09-17T04:35:00.000+08:00

School

...any thoughts?

-jeF

(I wanted to make a blog post about what I'm doing, and what my life has been like since California, and realized that cyber space couldn't contain my journey...so I thought I'd open up a discussion about school for a bit...see what you guys have to say about it...bash it, praise it, sell it on the black market, do whatever you wish with the subject...and I'll add my two cents when I can save enough money)

2005-08-30T03:14:00.000+08:00

I wish they all could be california girls

See ya next week y'all! California here I come.
-jeF

tunes: Destiny's Child

2005-08-02T13:29:00.000+08:00

A shout out to the elements:

Water, salt and fresh, even falling from great heights

Sun, both morning, midday, and evening

Air and wind - atmosphere extrodinary

Earth, mountains, and glaciers

...the entrance way to the soul is through the senses.
Mine remain tingling in tangibility.
To the Creator of all things - my life, my love, my thanks
...my heart, my friendship...
you have lavished life, and love, and joy upon us all
What do we have that we haven't been given?
Nothing.
You are the most generous Giver,
the most ingenious Maker
the most incomprehendible Savior

-jeF

Passions: Surfing (well...at least spending money on a whole bunch of stuff that will make surfing more enjoyable when I get the chance to indulge), Creation (mountains, sitting under waterfalls, glorious sunsets over glaciers, wind through the trees, unfamiliar spaces for EXPLORING!!! :), history of people groups and nations, travel, family life love and unity - communication is essential, driving, uncertainty of future and joy in patience and times of waiting on the Lord - Lamentations 3), sleeping in a tent being really cold but too lazy to get more blankets/clothes/shut the window of the tent that's been wide open for hours.

2005-07-19T13:46:00.000+08:00

To be the friend of God...
Friend. To stay, to remain, to be stilled and quieted
To be known, and care to know what you're thinking about
To listen before speaking...Lord silence my yammering
Friend. Friend. If I could be...your friend, Jesus
Scrap worship leader, or church intern, and everything else
If I could be your friend...if I could be counted among those you love
Among those you share the secrets of your heart...
the deep things of God...
You are the friend of sinners, and you call US friends...wow.
If I wanna be your friend, I better learn to be a friend of people...
to love like you do...
I hate it how sometimes it seems it's just not IN me
to even BE your friend. Like I don't even care.
I think the best way to become the friend of God then
must be to be befriended. To be captured by grace afresh
and anew in those moments and spans of time when I have
lost site of mercy. Let me taste and see again...

"I can't see, I can't see, and I can never see
I can't feel, I can't feel, and I can never feel
I wanna see, I wanna feel, I wanna know you're there
So help me see, so help me feel
I wanna know your grace..." - Andrew Lee

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the magnitude of friendship. How each person I'm in relationship with is so complex, and sometimes it gets to be overwhelming, or despairing...I was created to be in relationship with amazing friends too...friends. Lord let me be real...let me be me...let me be who you created me to be...make me like you...Let me love and be loved in my relationship with You, AND with the ones you have placed in my life. Thank you, Jesus...you...are

-jeF

2005-07-08T13:55:00.000+08:00

I wanna know what makes you cry.
I wanna know...what makes you laugh.
I wanna know what makes you feel, and know.
I wanna know what makes you alive.
Why is it that Jesus loves us the way he does?
Completely. Relentlessly. Continuously. Consumingly.
Really. Why? What IS man that He is mindful of us?

-jeF

experiences: fountain swimming on robson, soul breathing at starbucks, crying while driving at night, laughing with friends, jazz bathing in vancouver, making children laugh at work, wondering at and groping for something real, becoming increasingly desperate and in need of Jesus, stopping and becoming aware of aches and pains both physical and emotional.

tunes: Kaki King, Tony Wilson 6tet, Miles Davis, Frou Frou, ...silence, the voices of the saints, the Father's song he sings over me when he answers my questions.

2005-06-28T16:41:00.000+08:00

"Cuz I believe in silence our hearts speak the same words" - Blindside

-jeF

Musak: "silence" - Blindside, "blessed to be a witness", "picture of Jesus", and of course "Bring the funk" - Ben Harper, "Jesus Walks" - Kanje West, Keane, Frou Frou, Massive Attack, Russ Rosen and company, "This is your life" Switchfoot, Kevin Prosche's Palanquin album, and his Black Pepper Corns side dealio, Johnny Legend, Sam Roberts, "Lullaby" - Pedro the lion, The Album Leaf, Simon Hoskyn, David Gray, Chris Janzen, and oddly enough Greg Sczebel.

Scripture: Psalm 72, Mark, Ecc 5:1-7, habbakuk, 1 King 8:27-->, 1 Cor 1-2

What I wanna do right now: Stay up all night writing songs, or portage to the east coast, swim across the atlantic to africa and learn about Jesus from a people with child like faith. We don't get it.

2005-06-15T14:17:00.000+08:00

JESUS IS A WILD MAN!!! Trust me. He's recklass, and unpredictable. He just...wow...pure compassion, grace upon grace, healing flowing to the ones shunned by society AND the people of God, hanging out regularily with tax collectors and "sinners" of all kinds...he's here there and everywhere...read Mark, it's action packed. The simplicity (sounds wierd describing the life of Christ as simple...more like sheer magnitude) of the stories is capturing my every sense right now! Lines like when the lepar came to Jesus begging him on his knees saying "Lord if you are willing you can make me clean" and it says, And Jesus filled with compassion said, "I am willing. Be clean." And he was immediately healed. Straight up mercy. Then when the paralytic was lowered through the roof and was healed everyone went away saying, "We have never seen anything like this!" That line struck me SO hard. Do we ever say that coming out of church? Or in our experiences/encounters with Jesus during our life? Is it all the same old same old? Cuz I'm up for some adventure and some more of the kingdom of God. Jesus personified the kingdom...the kingdom is a person more than anything, and ...now that kingdom is IN us, as Christ is IN us. You know that Sam Roberts song "Baby you're got me on the run!" well, today I've been singing it to Jesus. "Jesus, you've got me on the run." Can't shake the guy...BEAUTILICIOUS!

...ya that's it.
-jeF

tunes: Saturday Night Fever original soundtrack

2005-06-06T15:31:00.000+08:00

My dinner this evening:

- 1 Bowl of left over Kraft Dinner with week old spaghetti sauce topping
- 2 Pieces of toast with embarrassingly large portions of peanut butter and honey
- 1 Large Tupperware bowl full of Dorittos
- And 3 Krispy Kreme Doughnuts chased by two glasses of milk...got cancer?

I love my life. You envy me. I'm a star.
-jeF

tunes: Bob Marley "Turn your lights down low" with lauren hill, "Stir it up" and "Concrete Jungle", Various Bavarian Waltzes and German Yodling, A whole HEAP of Jack Johnson, Ben Harper "Blessed to be a witness", Bjork, Garden State sound track, The Mars Volta, Norma Jean, Jason Uptons new disc, John Coltrane, "Jesus Walks" -Mr. West (when you're this relevant, they call you "Mr."), aaaand Matt Moerman cuz he's hot.

...freaking live your life, k?

2005-05-20T13:21:00.000+08:00

May I never be content with where I'm at, Jesus.
I simply must have more of you! I ake!
Come right now and let my spirit be stirred.
Even right here, right now...right now
I present my heart! Arrest it and make it completely yours!
Won't you burn in me! Won't you awaken me!
Raise to life the dead things in me, O God!
You long to dwell among us. You long to consume your bride.
May I never compartmentalize my life into times with you
and times without you...
For surely as your word says, "For in him [you] we live and
move and have our being." Dwell with me, Jesus!
Fill me Holy Spirit! Father you delight in your children,
Delight in me! And may I delight in you.
Dwell in me so that the things of your heart burn in me.
Dwell in me so that your scripture would rock me, teach me,
convict me, stir me, inspire me, kill me, enlighten me,
comfort me.
Dwell in me that I may be with you, and be like you, and love you
May serving you, and learning about you, and loving you
never become a duty, or a chore. It's my JOY to walk with you!
May I never get caught up with filling my days with stuff
to do FOR you and miss knowing you, loving you, and being loved
completely
by
you...
I choose to acknowledge your real presence in every part of my life
I acknowledge you, God. Make me completely aware of your presence.
Continue to build my character, to make me real
to make me a man of integrity. Our words as the church are many
I wonder if we really know the things that we sing about so passionately
I wonder if I really believe the words I read, or the preachers that speak
I wonder if we understand what it means that we are your temple
the place where you dwell...
I wonder if we are aware that the entire western world despises the church
and yet you adore her, and long to purify her, restore her, strengthen her
awaken her, and equip her to war with you in the advancment of your great kingdom
What is the church today? Who are you, Jesus, today?
Quiet me. Still me. Teach me. Speak clearly to me. Break me. I clutter my thoughts,
and my heart spills messily onto your lap, so do whatever it takes to
get through to me with clarity and grace...

-jeF

concerts: IMR and Delirious? ??? not sure...rumor has it May 24th Pacific Coliseum? $35

tunes: CBC radio, the evening rain

2005-05-10T14:44:00.000+08:00

I danced with a princess the other day

She was 8 and time seemed to stand still

I was...myself, and incredibly red faced and foolish

Timelessly, not tirelessly, we made our way around the circle

Her people looked on with smiles and laughter

A woman stood crying in the corner watching

Tribes met to dance, to drum, to sing, to remember, to love

Feathers and feet flew as effortlessly as eagles in flight

Pure, radiant colors flashed around the room dazzling my vision

Their movement was majestic, untouchable, unobtainable

It was their own

I moved to the rhthym of the drums nevertheless

I can still hear the round drums as I sit

And the young princess laughed gleefully

"Dance harder, dance faster!" She giggled

Smiling and pretending not to suck, I hurriedly obeyed

I laughed and danced, and joy filled me to the brim

I tell ya what, I'm drinking deeply of life

I'm drinking to the dregs because it's the only one I've got

I danced not for myself. I danced to somehow, in some way

Honor them

My prayer, not void of a soggy face,

Is that they would know how my heart holds them

It holds them in the highest regard and I would give

anything to see them whole, healed, and restored

anything to see them filled with whatever it is they need

anything to see them free...

anything to know that the heart of their Father holds them

that the heart of their Creator adores them and beckons them

To Himself

-jeF

tunes: Frou Frou, Beck, Keane, The Stills, Funki Porchini, Norma Jean, The Album Leaf, Matt Redman, Bob Marley "Say Something", Michael Jackson "Billy Jean", Simon Hoskyn, Jason Upton, Shayne and Shayne, Ari, Joni Mitchell, Norma Jean, The Wildings, IMR, and of course, summer wouldn't be summer without Mr. Jack Johnson ladies and gentlemen especially "Never Knowing" at the moment...and YES it IS summer...HA!

2005-04-30T18:01:00.000+08:00

Awaken love, awaken love...
Awaken love, awaken love...
Our hearts entwine, but not without the struggle
Your love, divine, yet could you be mine?
When I shut up, I crumble into your arms
When I look up, the rising tide of mercy and grace
proceeds up the sand

Awaken love, awaken love...
Awaken love, awaken love...
His left arm is under my head
His right arm embraces me
There will be none other
None other but you...forgive me

Awaken love, awaken love...
Awaken love, awaken love...
There's never been a love so sweet, than my First Love
I'm falling down at the feet, of my First Love
You are everything, or you are nothing, O, my First Love
I belive, I believe you to be true, my First Love

Awaken love, awaken love...
Awaken love, awaken love...
Let this tired, wandering heart be captured again
Let me sulk and slide and wonder no longer
Of a love so pure, so extravagant...I don't get it!
Let me finish...show me where we began

"Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, intimate
I find I'm moving to the rhythm of your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating
In our secret place
Your love is extravagant

Spread wide in the arms of Christ
Is the love the covers sin
No great love have I ever known
You consider me a friend...
...capture my heart again"

~Darrell Evans

tunes: Joni Mitchell, Bob Marley, Pedro the Lions Achilles Heel album, Tortoise, Moby, Matt Redman, Simon Hoskyn ...line from his song "And my horizons are a brand new color, not void of doubt but understand...the grace of God is more than grace enough for me, in uncertainty", Ari's I OF THE STORM album, especially tracks 10 and 13, The Red Light Swing (thank you, George, thank you!), Pilate "Come by the window", Jungle Boogie - Kool and the Gang

sidenote(s): I've decided the following. 1. Life will only get richer with time despite sorrow, suffering, and the growing pains associated with getting older. 2. Sun soaked skin, and presummer night air are among the most beautious scents ever inhaled...right up there with patchule and vanilla, and anything coconut. 3. Reading the word of God brings life, talking about real questions with brothers in Christ sparks thought and prayer, and the kingdom of God is bigger than we've ever thought it to be...there must be more...how is the church quenching the spirit...are we hindering the work of God in our church families, our communities, cities, nations?

2005-04-15T16:06:00.000+08:00

I purposefully let it slip out of my hands because it was abnormally warm
-jeF Diddy

2005-04-07T14:21:00.000+08:00

Jesus I love that you love me like you do
And I love the sound of frogs at night
I'm alive, here with you

-jeF

COME: IMR April 15th Maple Ridge CRC 7pm, $5, benefit concert w/ The Left, The Approach, Tripsis.

2005-04-03T05:21:00.000+08:00

How can a heart be so full, then so empty all at once
I laugh and dance, then curl and cry
I can't hold joy inside long enough for revelry
There remains a emotional sift at the bottom of me
The sweet slides through, the sour remains...
I know that somewhere under this surface of soul
dwells a joy overflowing from the wellspring of your heart.
It bubbles underneath the surface of my pride
and it longs to break through

I wandered around the store feeling out of place
among the volumes upon volumes of faith literature
"Get me out of here!" My insides almost turn out.
Now I'm running. Running. Running. See Jeff run.
See Jeff wonder. See Jeff flee from the arms of the Lover.
I stop. I weep. Music plays...the bows vibrate a symphony of strings as
I turn my eyes towards you. You remain.
Why can't I belong somewhere with someone,
or find the tireless love I dream of?
I guess I've passed the cup on when it came, and sat wondering
as it knocked on my door. I can't help my feelings of regret, but
I am believing you to make sense of it all someday.
Your love is jealous and I beg that you consume me till I burst,
or my mind will continue to long for
a companionship I have never known.
I'm over this life, this love, this existance too often...
could you please make all things new...in me?
I know...I know you are...just...don't stop
This flesh aches, this mind bleeds,
this soul thirsts for a love of another kind.
An otherworldly love that surpasses the sensory realm.
The unfolding mystery of the goodness and grace of God.
Could we be lovers in a dangerous time?
I'd like to be able to tell you that I can't take my eyes off of you
but the truth is I'm often cold all over...
ever searching in the wrong places.
"I am my beloveds and He is mine"...
these words are miracles. If they could
only ring true in my heart of hearts.
I now take your hand...

A winter chill brings a stagnant breeze, it sinks into my skin...
yet I walked among the still waters with swans
in the calm after-rain night ...with you.
You led me there. You bid me "walk slower...walk with me"
And I cry out "Let this tired heart be captured!"
What I really need looks me in the face even now where I sit.
His warmth longs to wrap around me in this cold room
My goosebumps yearn for the familiar comfort of afternoon blankets
they mirror the cry in me for something tangible to carress me,
to fill and overflow inside of me. To give me life.
I will settle for nothing less.
Abundant life is fuller than I anticipated.
It's more than I'd though it to be.
The abundance comes when we give up trying.
I’m finding out it’s not just a catch phrase.
It’s real, and it’s nothing we’ve ever dreamed it would be.
It’s more. It’s darker, it’s deeper, it’s fuller, it’s harder, it’s longer,
it’s more authentic, it’s brighter,
it’s incredibly down to earth and genuine.
It’s birthed out of the circumstances of the restless present,
it’s expressed through emotions, and it’s released through faith
and a simple choice to believe despite everything.
It‘s found in the arms of Christ in the beauty in brokenness.
It's not survival I long for, it's the thriving nature of a rich existance
Where everything matters and nothing matters and I care about it all.
"If I can just get through this week..." sorry, another week of the same
madness awaits me on the otherside,
it's time to stop to hear the voice of my Maker.
He has promised to show me how to live.

1 For everything there is a season, and a time
for every matter under heaven: 2 a time to be
born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a
time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill,
and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a
time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to
laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a
time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones
together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain
from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to
lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a
time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep
silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and
a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
9 What gain has the worker from his toil? 10 I have
seen the business that God has given to the sons of
men to be busy with. 11 He has made everything
beautiful in its time; also he has put eternity into
man's mind, yet so that he cannot find out what God
has done from the beginning to the end. 12 (Ecc 3)

The word of the Lord is good, and this season lingers on.
I will drink deeply of the gift of life in these precious days.
I will allow the healing oil of His love to have it's way.
My salvation remains in repentence and rest - my strength
in quietness and trust (Isa 30). By your grace I will have it
all in this season - all that you have for me I receive now with
arms wide open, and a smile that begins to surface on my face.

-jeF

Happenings: The Empty Chair-a worship and arts seminar @ PLBC April 9th 8:30am - 5pm Cost: 35 cash money bling bling dollas. The 9th just so happens to be my 21st Bday.

IMR LIVE IN MAPLE RIDGE!!! April 15th Maple Ridge CRC 7pm Cost: 5 bones. Featuring The Left, The Approach, and Tripsis. Benefit concert for Cambodian Wells through Hope International. TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS, CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE RIGHT NOW...GO!

Tunes: Simon Hoskyn (from Just Stay Calm) Acoustic worship project entitled "ARREST ME" SOOOO GOOD! Available at Celebrations Christian Books Store - Slurrey, BC, or ask me to get one for you ($15). Damien Rice "O", Jonathan Inc. "Things done and left undone", Norma Jean "O God, the Aftermath" (intense hardcore...woah), Micheal Jackson "One's", Mars Volta, Sigur Ros, Shane and Shane, Bob Marley "Concrete Jungle", Emery, Radiohead "Amnesiac", "It's time to Praise" - Dave Wilding, and the new Heather Clark songs that Kate sang this weekend. Enjoy.

2005-03-29T14:06:00.000+08:00

pro·cras·ti·nate (pr-krst-nt, pr-)v. pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing, pro·cras·ti·nates v. intr.

To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.v. tr.
To postpone or delay needlessly.

Procrastination
n 1: the act of procrastinating; putting off or delaying or defering an action to a later time [syn: cunctation, shillyshally] 2: slowness as a consequence of not getting around to it [syn: dilatoriness]

...the enemy has been identified...SHOOT TO KILL! SHILLSHALLY THIS, SUCKA!!!

despite old habits...I've actually been getting stuff done while maintaining health, sanity, and peace this weekend. Gazing at the wounds of love, and the cross that held the Christ...beholding him risen and exalted...stepping into resurrection life...

-jeF

stuff: IMR April 15th Maple Ridge CRC $5 7ish, IMM worship seminar April 9th, 8:30 $35.

2005-03-24T08:34:00.000+08:00

Your being entwines my mind and soothes my soul
like the silouette of naked trees against the fading evening sky.
The sun soaks into my skin and lift my spirit like grace found in the valley.
Abundant life is for the taking
An extended hand and a tender heart greet me
"Don't be in such a hurry" you tell me
"This is our time. Learn from me for I am gentle.
I take you from glory to glory and from strength to strength.
Enjoy the journey, and don't rush the seasons I bring you through.
Savour each one, and let the lessons I have to teach you take root
deep within your heart...for I desire truth in the inner parts. I am the Healer, the Lover, the Friend, the Father, the Author and the Finisher of your faith, the Warrior. Let me heal you, let me love you, let me befriend you, let me father you, let me finish what I started in you, let me fight for you. Child you are mine."
Chosing to trust I respond, "Is it possible to find everything I've ever wanted in you?"
Turning away with a smile you say, "Come and see..."

jeF

2005-03-13T13:55:00.000+08:00

There’s a cry in my heart and it’s YOU
It’s you, it’s you, it’s only you sweet Jesus!
This cry is for you and you alone...
Only you
Because no one loves me like you
No one loves me this furiously
This completely, this relentlessly...
This cry...
I cannot hold it inside of me
This cry breaks through my pride
And finds it’s way through my insecurities and fears
It finds it’s way to your heart,
because it originated in your heart
Because the cry of your heart was me
It reverberates in me and it returns to you
You’ve put this cry in my heart
This cry that surfaces even amidst
the mud and the mire of misery.
It surfaces like an apple I threw as hard as I could
into a barrel of water...you take a bite out of it...
my existence is like a war-torn city
This cry...to be found in you, to be fulfilled in you,
to be known and loved by you.
Only you, O God! You're all I need!
I must believe that in your presence is FULLNESS of joy!

I cling to you in the night!
Come! Come and be EVERYTHING to me right now!
Here and now, my God! Here and now I believe!
Here and now and I fall into the arms of my Healer!
Into the arms of my friend! Into the arms of my Maker!
“There’s a cry in my heart and only you can play it
There’s a song in my broken soul and only you can sing it”
There is a cry! Now it comes forth!
It bursts across my being like the sun set free from eclipse!
FATHER!!! I long for you! I cannot hold it in,
it cracks the mold of my soul and spills out onto your feet.
And you speak your words of peace over me with tears in your eyes…
“Intimacy! O Jesus! Intimacy! My treasure will be your intimacy!”
I open my arms to you, now run in and tackle me!
Line me up! Collide! Knock me down! Pick me up!
You’ve broke me before, break me again,
then put the pieces back together the way they were supposed to be!
Hold me tightly with both arms, and never let me go!
Look into my eyes once again, I promise I won’t look away
I know your gaze is pure and proud.

These dry bones will live, and even in death
I will know a joy deeper and richer than the
culminated wealth of nations.
My hands I lay down against the hard wood of the cross
and I ask for the nails to come and pierce this flesh.
Let them come! Let this death be complete!
If abundant life follows the pattern of your cross
then kill me now…

Rest comes to this weary man like water poured on thirsty ground
Your love awakens my heart again
Your song stills me and washes over my wounds
Your grace sustains me
Your word speaks life to my deepest parts
Your benevolence surprises me
Your wisdom teaches me
Your hands embrace me
Your yoke is easy
Your burden is light
Your call for my life beckons me
Your Spirit empowers me
Your voice reassures me
It brings security and identity
Your friendship excites me
...and somehow I can laugh again

There is a cry in my heart, and it's you...

jeF

events: 1. Worship Invasion @white rock christian fellowship Sat. Mar 26th 7pm THE WILDINGS! Check worshipinvasion.com for map and directions.
2. IMR Mar.24th Trinity Western with a folk singer! $10.
3. April 20 something...the END OF SCHOOL! Hasten the day!
4. MRCS Esperanza Spring break missions trip...NOW till...the end of this week

places: Costa Rica, Amsterdam, Japan, Cambodia, New Zealand, Tibet, India, and many MANY more (you're thinking...Jeff a list of places?...for what purpose? The answer is yes)

people: Richard Simons, James Brown, Barry White, Leo Fender, Michael Jackson, Brent Gjaltema, Dennis "the goose-hunter" Hixon (don't ask...no...ask!), Bradly Pitt (for spending 7, count'em 7 years in Tibet) the Sobakawa Pillow infomercial guy, Jim Carey (for his superb hot tub lifeguarding skills), and Jared Bodners great Grandma who apparently had healing hands.

2005-03-06T11:11:00.000+08:00

Tonight

Deep calls to deep

Tonight

2005-02-18T10:49:00.000+08:00

Scraping the bottom of the barrel
has never felt so good. You either cry
or laugh, or better yet both! Either way

you live

Every day is an oppertunity to thrive
So, a simple shout out (of love and adoration)
to the Giver of life. Thanks for painting
our existance into being. Thanks for your
overwhelming, enrapturing, and consuming love.
For the benevolence in your heart...thank you
All your waves and your breakers have swept over me
But life is only enriched with each one
And I am brought low, and I am brought near
And I see you as you are, and you see me as I am
And I rest in the shadow of your wings

...Thanks that this thing has a surprise ending

-jeF

I'm going to the DREAM CENTER starting sat. Feb 17th and coming back Feb.29th. Please pray for our van to make it down...and that LA will continue to find the healing it needs in the arms of Christ. Later!

Concerts: IMR @ Mesa Luna (Vancouver) w/ the approach, and Black Rice, and more Mar.3rd 8pm $8. All ages.

tunes: "I believe in miracles, where you from...etc...", "Claire de Lune" Claude Debussy, "Beautiful One" Chris Tomlin, Charles Ives, John Cage, Stevey Ray Vaughn, BB King, Elvis, Sigur Ros, Lauren Hill, IMR, The Red Light Sting, Your love is amazing, "Come up here come up now" Jason Upton.

2005-02-10T06:52:00.000+08:00

I don't want another Bible course. I don't want another program or service. I don't want another nice meeting - I want Jesus! I want to experience the Living God! I was talking to a friend of mine and she was sharing her frustration with how even in church circles "We're content just talking about him". I share her frustration, and I'm hungry for so much more. He is not an idea! We're not talking about a trend, or a romantisized movement, we're talking about the living God. He is real! His power is real! His Spirit is real! His heart is real! He can be grieved! He is a person! How much of him are we experiencing in our lives? In our churches? In our schools? In our cities? In our nation? I'll tell you what I've tasted enough of God to know that there must be more. And I want to see Jesus moving and shaking my world. I long for the tremors, the ripples in the water, the storm...I want to be a part of it! But it takes commitment. There is a cost. It is covenantal relationship that God desires from us. Nothing has changed. We do not live under the old covenenant, but the new. Nevertheless it is still a covenant! And we best not doubt that we have a part to play in this covenant of grace. Grace saves us, yes. Grace covers us, always. Grace forgives us, completely. Grace cleanses us, through and through. Grace restores us, redeems us, surrounds us, fills us, draws us nearer. His grace is sufficient for us. But grace CALLS us. Grace compels us! By his grace we are called to walk with him and to be a part of his work in the world. "By his grace and for his glory". It's a covenant of grace.

Why am I so content sometimes being involved half-heartedly with the things of God? Clearly I've missed something. Am I truly hungry? Cleary I have an incomplete worldview. Clearly I don't know what it means to truly be desperate for Him. Clearly the need for repentance and rising up has never been greater. Even in Christian circles I find my passion for the Lord being drained. Whether it's in a bible college classroom or a church sanctuary there is potential even in those places for our experience with God can be quenched. I refuse to let any community quench my relationship with God. We have been given everything, and we do so little with it. We are narrowminded and selfish. (replace all these "we's" with "I's" by the way) We want to experience the blessings of God but we don't want the responsibilities that come with them. We want the glory without the suffering. We aren't willing to pay the price. If it's gonna cost us something then we hesitate and squirm. We are unwilling to let the gospel, which we desire to spread, truly touch are lives. When the gospel of Jesus touches our lives it doesn't just bring us to life, it kills us! It hurts! It cuts, it prunes, it convicts, it corrects, it disciplines. We have to see the package deal. We must understand what we are asking God for when we say "Here I am, send me!" (who doesn't consider cost). We have to hear what are own lips are praying and singing about, and know that God will answer those prayers and He will test to see if we are sincere. He sifts us. He searches our hearts. One time God asked me, "Jeff, are you for real? Cuz I AM." Perhaps some of you long to see God move on a national level in Canada. Perhaps some of you have cried out for Revival. Perhaps some of you desire to get your hands dirty in this war we are in. Good news, there's fight coming, and I count myself along side of you. But are we willing for "Revival" to come to our own lives? Are we willing to let God's kingdom come to our own hearts before we see it come to our nation? Do we believe what we spend time in our churches preaching, teaching, and philosophizing about? Where are you at in this?

"And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?...In the same way, and of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." Lk 14:27,28,33

"Then Jesus said "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?"
Jn 11:40

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." Lk 12:48

"Freely you have received, freely give." Matt 10:8

PEOPLE ON OUR KNEES

No more wasting time
The days are nearly over
Our groom is quickly coming
He greets us with a kiss
And proclaims “you have been chosen
For such a time as this”

Living waters come and quench this barren ground
Wind from heaven turn this nation upside down
Fire of the Spirit brand us with Your holy love
We’re a people on our knees

I choose to follow You
Forsaking all I know
Takin’ up my cross
And if I die I die
To find my life in You
Lord this is my cry

We’re calling
We’re crying
We’re yearning
Heal our broken Land
Tracy Rahn © 2004 Rahn Songs

tunes: Kenny and Tracy Rahn, Bob Marley, Sigur Ros, "Emotion Sickness" -SilverChair, Norma Jean, The Headphones, Furtherseemsforever, "We are hungry" - Passion worship band, Ari, "Visions of Change" - Just Stay Calm, IMR "We are everywhere".

shows: IMR Railway club, Friday Feb 11 9ish $8. 19+

2005-01-31T13:17:00.000+08:00

...If we could see how much You're worth
Your power Your might Your endless love
Than surely we would never cease to praise!...
(Let everything that has breath, Redman)

WAKE ME UP, O GOD! WAKE ME UP, O GOD!
I WANNA BE WIDE AWAKE TO THE REALITY OF YOU!
TAKE MY WORLD APART! TURN ME UPSIDE DOWN!
AWAKEN YOUR CHURCH! LET US BELIEVE IN YOU,
AND TAKE YOU AT YOUR WORD! LET THE CHURCH
WEAR YOUR HEART ON OUR SLEEVE! MAY WE SWALLOW
OUR PRIDE, AND EXPERIENCE YOU! RAISE UP A
PEOPLE AFTER YOUR OWN HEART! A DAVID GENERATION!
TO KNOW YOU! TO TOUCH THE LIVING GOD!
YOU SAID THAT HE WHO COMES TO YOU MUST FIRST
BELIEVE THAT YOU EXIST AND THAT YOU ARE A
REWARDER OF THOSE WHO DILIGENTLY SEEK YOU!
WE BELIEVE, O GOD! WE ARE HUNGRY, COME AND
FILL US WITH YOURSELF! INCREASE IN OUR MIDST
AS WE DECREASE! TO KNOW YOU, O, TO KNOW YOU!
TO SEE WHAT YOU SEE, TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU
THINK! TO CONNECT HEART TO HEART! WE ARE
LOVERS IN A DANGEROUS TIME! HOW LONG UNTIL
I'M SATISFIED! I MUST HAVE MORE OF YOU!
THE MORE WE SEE OF YOU, THE MORE WE LOVE YOU!
THERE MUST BE MORE!

...Praise is waiting for YOU in this place
...There's a cry that our spirits will make
...as we see Your glory

...To Your mercies our souls will awake
...And we'll sing to the break of the day
...Because You are worthy
(Praise awaits you, Redman)

jeF

TuNeS: Some sweet japanese POP music from our new brother Satoshi, Matt Redman, Sigur Ros, Inked in blood, Beautiful worship CD, IMR "Annadonia", "A cause for concern", Rock and Roll Worship Circle, "Morning Sun" Ari, "You can dance if you wannu. You can leave your friends behind", Beethoven's "Moonlight sonata", Simon Hosyn (frontman for Just Stay Calm) released a new acoustic project available at his house, and at Celebrations Christian Bookstore. AMAZING!

Concerts: IMR Railway club Feb.11th $10 19+...sorry youngins...

2005-01-24T13:56:00.000+08:00

My God cannot be contained!
My God cannot be boxed!
My God cannot fit into the mold of religion.
Nor will He stand for the veins of religion that
run through His body and bridge - the Church.

Don't talk to me about a small Jesus. I won't have it. Take the world, but give me Jesus. Jesus AS HE IS! Not the Jesus we philosophize and opinionize away in clever catch phrases. Take all I own, but give me Jesus. Take my very LIFE but give me Jesus. Don't talk to me about an untouchable Jesus - A Jesus covered in an irremovable shroud of mystery. My bible says He's the Mystery - the Mystery made KNOWN. And I will know Him well because He has befriended me. Destroy my misconceptions of who You are! "Shatter all my plans and i llusions that I might lose my way". Don't try to tell me serving Jesus is too hard, or it's not worth it. Jesus your MERCY ALONE IS ENOUGH FOR ME! YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME! Don't talk to me about a God who is uncapable of healing the sick or restoring the broken lives. I'm lifting up my gates and swinging wide the doors of my heart that the King of Glory may come in! Here's my heart, let it be Your high praise! Who is this King of Glory? The Lord strong and mighty - He IS the King of Glory! I will shout, cry out, whisper, 'Holy, holy, holy is the Lord with the angels because I BELIEVE that He WAS. And I believe that He IS. And I believe that He IS TO COME!

...I believe who You say You are, Jesus and my heart burns for more of You...

2005-01-15T13:08:00.000+08:00

"Up again, down again, out of your head"
When I hold back my deepest love I am left
wallowing in regret...my cheaks bear the stains of
recollecting and remembering tears
"Life is for living, we all know. And I don't wanna
live it alone..."
Why am I afraid of unashamed love...
Of unveiling emotion, of thouroughly caring...
These years of caution have left me groping in the dark
for something real that I can never seem to get my fingers on
Might I stumble my way into your arms?
What I have missed out on...this only You could ever know.

(quotes from Matthew Good "Avalanche" album, Coldplay "Parachutes" album)

tunes: Matt Good "Avalanche" album, To Resist You - Ari, Taj Mahal - Sam Roberts, I need words - David Crowder, Kevin Prosche - Palanquin album, Pedro the lion - Whole EP, Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism album (esp.track 6).

2005-01-08T14:46:00.000+08:00

Less talk more rock
Let's let Jesus be who he really is in every part of our lives...encounter him...be healed...worship
Let's love eachother in community and be submersed in society in hopes of the changing the bleak status quo...I'm tired of words especially my own...so I'm gonna skip the noise and get lost in presence of God...now...his mercy and grace will undo me all that's left to do is to LET HIM!

...HOIGHT!!!

tunes: Praise Awaits you - Matt Redman (and his whole new CD), K-OS, Sigur Ros, Bec, Ari "Morning Sun", Beautiful One -Tim Hughes, Taste and See - Tre Shephard, Unashamed Love-Ten Shekel Shirt, The Gospel - Ben Harper, the sound of snow falling in the night

skills: Num Chuck, Bow-hunting, computer hacking, not having a girlfriend (a highly under-rated skill I might add), rambling on and on, sleeping in, being hip with the chilluns

***A couple new links can be found to your right***
(Your mom goes to college)

2004-12-28T14:41:00.000+08:00

I will come to the end of myself
I will learn to live, and love deeply and sincerely
I will seek out the very heart of God: not to know about him, but to know him and to be ruined
I will become the man God has called me to be by His grace
I will embody a gentle heart of flesh and not of stone
I will find Jesus to be relevant and present in every circumstance
I will be captured by the Love of God and moved to passion
I will abide with my First Love and return the simplicity of relationship
I will seek the only thing that can turn the culture of our world upside down - the Kingdom of God
I will keep pressing on even though I fall daily
I will care
I will feel
I will believe
I will risk
I will cry out for the move of God in this nation, but not for the glory of the church, but for the sake of His name in the Northwest, and in the world.

-jeF

tunes: Kung Fu Fighting, Tortoise "It's all around you", Ari's new album "The electrical tapes vol.2", Matt Redman "Befriended" "So Amazing" "When my heart runs dry", Death Cab for Cutie, The Postal Service, The Refused, Rock and Roll Worship Circus, Secret Mommy

film: Napoleon Dynamite...Oh...my...gosh..., Rushmore, Matchstick men, It's a wonderful life, Kindergarden cop, Elf

2004-12-20T16:38:00.000+08:00

thoughts of recollection.

"i never did know how to say goodbye"
it stretched my heart unto scar tissue when you left
I found my mind wandering to the memory of your countenance
I find my mind wandering unceasingly without rest
In retrospect there could have been so much more we could have shared
It hurt each hour of that day, and every now and then it is aggrevated
the changing seasons of blissful chaos - I'm all wrapped up in each one
I watch each one as it unfolds almost carelessly
and I still can't put my finger on who I am and I'm enchanted
but I found pieces of me as I walked along the ocean side
amidst the mist of the Burrard Inlet air and the company of friends
learning to search the great depths of this ocean called life
deeper into the liquid of experience, further under it's crushing weight
to live - yes, to live is simply to summunation of my dreams
the dreams that have destroyed my life
to live, and love, and learn to live and love
wandering, ever wondering where to go even as I have already gone
longing to connect with sharp precision - with genuine ramifications
to be known and not to hold anything of myself back from those who love me
following this rabbit trail will be the end of me as I know it
I don't think I'm looking forward to the end as much as the
mystery of the the middle ground called the present

tunes: Ari's new album "the (medical) tapes vol.II live from the hive" check out the link to his new site on the right, S-Club 7, Just Stay Calm "Is Flippantly even a word", David Gray, Switchfoot "This is your life", Little Drummer Boy, Caedman's Call, Death Cab for Cutie "The New Year Song", Jonathan Anderson's cover song of IMR's "Of What Was", Sigur Ros, bonobo

2004-11-25T05:29:00.000+08:00

Is it possible for the church today to embody the community Jesus established with his life, death, resurrection and ascension? Could the church be a place where Jesus feels comfortable in? Is it possible for Jesus to be himself in our midst? We cry out for revival, we cry out for healing, we cry out for revolution, we cry out for a whole lot of christianese things. Do we seek a movement? Do we seek a phenomenon? Do we seek an orderly, effective, and masterful church service/meeting? Or do we seek a person? Jesus embodied the kingdom everywhere he went. When John the Baptist was in prison doubting Jesus' claim to be the Messiah, Jesus sends word to John saying, "Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor..." (Luke 7:22). I heard someone say that the name "Yahweh" can be interpreted a number of ways, but one of them is "Watch me, and I will show you". God cannot be comprehended or contrived by our feeble minds, nor is his influence and power limited to the church. He is wild. He rules the earth. He is active in the world today - right now in our society, and internationally. I've heard it said that, "He likens himself to the wind" and I think in a sense it's true. Jn 3:8 seems to agree. He is sovereign. He will be who he is despite our attempts to control or harness or formulize him. When his first disciples gathered around him to ask Jesus where he was staying he said "Come and see". I hear those words said in my imagination with sort of a "catch me if you can" flavor to them. Of course God isn't completely nebulous, he is inside of us of course - but nevertheless he is a mystery. He is a mystery made known, as Colossians 1 says, but nevertheless, he's a mystery.

Is it possible for our the church to be the dwelling place of this same Jesus? Would Jesus feel free to be himself in our midst? Where am I hindering the real, unpredictable Christ in my life? In my church? When we see healings in our churches it's because Jesus the Healer has shown himself. When we see salvation in our churches it's because Jesus the Savior has been revealing himself. When we see deliverance and freedom in our churches it's because Jesus the Deliverer - the giver of life to the full - has shown himself. When we hear the truth spoken and it cuts to our hearts we know that Jesus the Truth is in our midsts. The truth is Jesus IS with us. His final words to the disciples were "I am with you always". My passion and desire is for Jesus to be recognised in the community called the church and for Jesus, himself, to FILL his bride with all of himself - today! It seems I fumble through church half heartedly not appreciating the community Christ came to establish. I touch something real for brief moments - something of his heart, his character, his power, his love - and then clench my fist on it trying to hold onto it. I squeeze it, until it slips away like tiny diamonds filtering through white knuckles. We must willing receive what God is doing in us and through us in the moment, and remember and learn from those times. But we must always be living today - looking to what God wants to do/teach in the present, or even further along in the future. I am fascinated with Jesus, but I want to be more than fascinated - I want to know him, love him, be changed, and follow him to whatever end.

Is this possible? What does this look like? Can Jesus feel at home with us?

peace friends! -jeF

shows: Just Stay Calm CD release party #2 Langley thursday Nov.25th 8:45, $2. Check site for directions: www.juststaycalm.com

tunes: 'Fun fun fun' and 'Is flippantly even a word' from Just Stay Calm's new disc "The Beginnings of Liberty", K-OS, Ari Neufeld, the rain, (this ones for you Matt) Usher, Mars Volta, Kevin Prosche

2004-11-16T10:42:00.000+08:00

what a gripping sensation it is to witness tangible majesty
the gem-like colors of topaz, rust, and glory fell so gently yet forcefully
upon the dark heavy laden clouds
the clouds gathered to the mountains like birds to the south in perfect formation
they formed a cataclysmic crossroads of dark jaden glory as they roamed motionless
across the atmosphere and my vision. It seemed an effortless dance. It seemed to brood over the valley like revolution.
"I am up in the clouds, I am up in the clouds" someone sang
and I could wish for nothing less to join them
the suns fingers tickled the leaves of golden birches and sycamores.
my every sense lay mystified. her delicate fingernails walked along my entirety like a
freed slave. it tasted like liberty, and I drank in her every movement till my heart overflowed
colors collided with eachother in a myriad of madness and grace
fragrant mercy trickled through the silouetted tree branches as the face of the landscape showed itself on the still waters of the fraser. i saw a steeple on a pub overlooking this transcendancy and wanted to swing about it's peak until dawn. as I drove away my heart remained there at the top of the world

Shows: Stutterfly! Tuesday, November 16Abbotsford, BCRick Hanson Secoundary (31150 Blueridge Drive)Doors: 6:30pmAdmission: $7.00StutterflyDS SuttonYou say Party, We say DieTimmy Torment

JUST STAY CALM! Saturday CD RELEASE PARTY! Punk In The Loft 6, with guests Ecklin13474 96th avenue, Surrey $4, doors at 7pm!

IMR November 19th - White Rock or Langley or Surrey or something
Nicole's super awesome birthday bash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Some warehouse somewhere no one has ever been before.w/ Secret Mommy (Andy Dixon from Red Light Sting) and maybe a performance by some guy named Steve doing Beach Boys covers or something...xxx rated = 19+We go on shortly after 8pmfor directions e-mail: info@imr.ca

Tunes: "Go to sleep" -Radiohead, "the new year" and "title and registration" and "tiny vessals" - Death Cab for Cutie, Refused 'Shape of punk to come' album, David Crowder "I need words", Billy talent, Secret Mommy "That's not my girlfriend" -a Red Light Sting Remix, "Politik" Coldplay, "A Thought Crushed my mind" album - Blindside

2004-11-03T10:33:00.000+08:00

"Where have the days of passion gone in my life?
When will desire be awoken in me for this Kingdom - for this Lover - for this life?
Why do I feel so quenched?"

A prayer I prayed today...I then listened...what I heard was like the beating drums of revolution. Rhythms of this kind can only be heard if we shut up and come to him as we truly are. Away with analyzing and wondering about my relationship with God. Let me revel and dwell in humility of heart expressed in sincere prayer once again, my Jesus. Truly all life, love, compassion, passion, power, wisdom, and clarity spring from that sweet secret place. How can we shout on the rooftops what we have heard in secret if we don't listen to the secrets of his heart? Revolution is within before it ever spills onto the floors of community.

"From thsi time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. 'You do not want to leave too, do you?' Jesus asked the twelve. Simon Peter answered him, 'Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the HOly One of God.' " Jn 6:66-69

Books: Lamentations, Luke, Miles to Cross, my past journals, Finished re-reading Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

Tunes: David Gray, Chevelle - 'Closure', Ben Harper - 'Fight for your mind', Pedro the Lion, This crazy Jazz singer Erika Badu or something like that, David Crowder, The Appleseed Cast

CONCERTS: JUST STAY (FREAKIN) CALM CD RELEASE SHOWS!!!
Saturday November 20th - CD RELEASE SHOW #1!Punk In The Loft 6, with guests Ecklin13474 96th avenue, Surrey $4, doors at 7pm
Thursday November 25th - CD RELEASE SHOW #2! location "The Castle" in Langley? Not sure where that is. More details to come

Stutterfly, and Swingset champion @Mesa Luna Nov.15th 7ish!

2004-10-28T08:48:00.000+08:00

Jesus extends to you, this day, grace for the journey. In a time of chaotic wondering, endless questioning, and senseless striving we invites you to collide with him and let his heart be heard. This is a bittersweet catastrophe, a dissasterous epiphany, a great and terrible introjectory - to know and be known by Christ. To love and to be loved by Him. When we taste even the smallest crumbs from His table we are ruined for anything else. Even through regrets, failures, struggles, being stretched, being spread thin, death to self, insecurities, feeling useless and quenched, wondering, and fear... the hand of the Lord extends to you as he meets you in the mess you are in. He inhabits the places you don't want him to because by nature he is all consuming. Here’s hoping my religious teddy bear Jesus - the one that I’ve contrived, analyzed, and quenched with my own self pity is blown to smithereens and I can experience Him for who He really is. Like
Aslan, He’s not safe... but He’s good.

I've heard it said that life is like a dance - a dance of falling down. I would dance this dance of falling down for the entirety of my life if it meant somehow grasping the ungraspable nature of Jesus. I both await this encounter and understand that it is for us to experience whenever we have the sense to partake of it. I hope these scriptures give you as much encouragement and hope as they have given me these last few weeks...

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him'. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while his is young (the yoke that the Lord gives of course :) ). Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust - there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love." Lamentations 3:22-32

"The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Jn 10:10

"His divine power has given us EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3

"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnessess, let su throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfectoer of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at teh right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

"But if I say, 'I will not mention him or speak anymore in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed I cannot...But the Lord is with me like a mighty warrior; so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail." Jer 20:9,11a

"Dear friends, now we are the children of God, nd what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears we shall be like Him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope purifies himself just as he is pure." 1 Jn 3:2-3

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and wven though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with inexpressable and glorious joy for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:8-9

"Now we see but a poor reflection; then we shall see face to face. Now i know in part, then I shall knwo fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Cor 13:12

Jesus is our Living Word, and he embodies everything written...we come not to words on a page, but to the Person who brings them to pass in our lives today. Let us stop analyzing our relationship with Him and experience these words to be true first hand. I long for an untainted gospel - to let the scriptures speak, and to be changed. Bless you

jeF

2004-10-10T05:27:00.000+08:00

An excerpt from a conversation with a friend regarding revival on a city level and a national level: (p.s. read my last blog post first if this is the first visit in a while)

"I had a teacher who once that said "The Spirit of God is at work in the world". I agree. And sometimes we think our churches, somehow, contain Him and that our great ideas are his, and that we are just SOOO important. I think God wants to use us, but I believe the church is going to look a lot different in the next 10 years. Jesus came to those who knew they needed him. He rebuked the religious, and went to the streets and hung out with the poor. What does it look like when a city, never mind a nation, repents and returns to the Lord? I don't know. Somtimes I just like walked the streets...especially in Vancouver (b/c God has placed Van. on my heart) and just imagine what the city would look like if everyone was saved...I don't think our churches would even be recognisable anymore...something to think about anyway.
Isa 55 says our ways are not his ways and our thoughts are not his thoughts. It says something like, "as high as the heavens are above the earth, so are his thoughts above ours" haha. I find that so true, and all I can do, like you said, is praise him, and stand in awe, and follow him...to be broken for the things of his heart. God didn't come for our nice little services, programs, and cunning plans, he came for real people with real problems. He's a lover that never goes away, and he's jealous for peoples affection. "

Jesus didn't come for those who have it all together, he came for those who know they need him. As I served food to some street people the other day my heart broke, again, for the broken people in our town. When you interact with these people, somehow everything comes into persepective. All of our clever words, fancy programs, and intricate services fall away and what is important remains: people. I long for "revival" but what does it mean...what does it look like...what's God's plan/purpose... We all seem to know what we want to see God do. What does He want? I thin the first step to "revival" is to care. To care about what he cares about. If we don't care, then who have we become? Deliver us, O God. I long to be most comfortable on my knees staring in wonder into your heart. Search me. Could we embody your heart?

sOnGs: "Worlds apart" Jars of Clay, Lauren Hill's live CD, "Everything is broken up in dances" - just stay calm, The ominous DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, David Crowder, Blindside "A thought crushed my mind" album, "The Well" Pedro the Lion, Radiohead Amnesiac, FIF "World Without an End, Ari Neufelf

fILmS: NAPOLEON DYNAMITE. Playing only at Tinsle town Vancouver (also called the International Village) SEE IT! FUNNY, CLEAN, DRY, WET YOUR PANTS, I DID. THAT IS ALL. OH! ANNNND, Second Hand Lions is ALSO a great film. RENT IT! It's a seven day rental at Rogers. Good times.

2004-10-05T04:52:00.000+08:00

I am beginning to feel desperate for the things of God. For the longest time now I have been in a sort of drought in a lot of different areas of my life. By no means am I out of this (in fact I am still crying out for delieverance, and clinging onto the words God has spoken to me) but I am finding that God is restoring certain things in me. Things like compassion, humility, intercession. I think last week at the Kings Inn was the first time in months where I had actually been moved to tears while praying for the poor/the lost. Jesus is all that matters in this life, and I would give anything to experience the life he lived HERE and NOW in my life. When I look at where I'm at, I get discouraged because there's a lot of things that are working against me, however, I'm not content to stay where I'm at. In other words, I'm pressing on.

"Not that I have already obtained all of this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers (and sisters!) I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Phil 3:12-16

I'm not content with where I'm at, but I know Jesus has grabbed a hold of my heart. He has shown me mercy and grace more than I will ever comprehend. He took hold of me, and called me, and has me here for a reason, so I am going to take hold of Jesus and the plans he has for me with everything I've got! I'm going to leave my failures behind me at the cross and run this thing. And the last verse is so crucial. I never want to move backwards - basically because I feel I have moved backwards in some areas of my spiritual life. Paul instructs us to "live up to what we have already attained". Let us persevere in all things.

I am believing God to move in this generation, and I believe it starts with asking God for his heart. There is an urgency and a desperation in there somewhere - let us feel that. Yet he walks in perfect peace. I am believing God for an exodus in my life. The Israelites were delivered from the Egyptian oppression. They were slaves in boundage. I need to be led out of my own boundage - anything that would hold me back from experiencing Jesus in His fullness. I believe we are on a the brink of a massive exodus as a youth generation. An exodus from the cycles of reacurring sin in our lives. An exodus from worldly thinking. An exodus from apathy and complacency. An exodus from religiousity, empty words, and "church" as we understand it. May we be aligned with the Kingdom of heaven in this hour. I for one sense the significance of the days we are in. Who will seek out the heart of God?

..."I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint...Then the Lord replied: 'Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay."

My question to anyone who's tracking with me is, if presently we are in bondage, and God is leading us out in a mass exodus, what does the promised land look like? Are we experienceing any of the promised land right now? What does the Kingdom of God look like?

jeF

tUnEs: Ben Harper, Red Light Sting "Rear entrance to the boom boom room", Bruce Cockburn, K-OS, Enter the Worship Circle.

2004-09-17T06:48:00.000+08:00

You would think that God's patience would run out on us the way we live. Honestly. My belief and trust in God is so fickle, so changing. My passion for him is often moody, or sometimes even self serving. My worship of him, is so often filled with so many empty promises. As a church our words are many. We're very good at catching the newest worship song, and saying all the right things. Lately I've been praying that God would show me where my heart is at in everything I do. Whether it's talking to an elderly lady at church, singing a song of commitment to Him, or taking part in a class at school. I've felt God asking me: Do you care? If not, why are you doing it. He wants us to care. He wants US! He wants all of us, and he doesn't give up on us. We are a people in need of grace.

What I've been discovering is that he wants me to want him. He wants me to put off the "cool" facade, and drop my attitude and cynicism of "church" and "ministry". He wants to cut me loose from my pride, and come to him like a child. He wants me to admit my doubts and ask for the gift of faith. He wants me to be transparent before him, and before people. He's helping me show affection. Showing affection to him, even in front of people is becoming easier. Can I dance before him? I have danced before? Could I dance before you in front of people I know really well? Or maybe even people I've just met, and am trying to make a good impression on? Why am I so scared? Has worship become a performance to elevate me above people? God have mercy upon me if it has, or if it even has moved in that direction. Smite my dignity! Most people are probably on the verge of collapse if they were honest anyways, so why should I hide my need for God in worship? Let me be undone! Let me cry out! Let me lay my heart bare! Help me! Jesus you want me to want you. I think I'm understanding that I need you, although even on that point, I think I'm in need of more understanding/revelation. But over and over you have been putting your hand on my head and tenderly speaking to my heart. You've been reassuring me that you are my friend. I can bring all my struggles to you. You want me. All of me. Even the ugly things. But you want me to want you. You want me to desire to be with you. To long for you. To chose to listen to you during the day. To talk back. To feel what you feel, and allow my heart to look more and more like yours...

grace, friends. grace upon grace
jeF

tUnEs: The great philosopher, and pioneer of rap: Will Smith was right..."Girls aint nothin' but trouble", K-os, Hayden, "I want to live in a wooden house"?...Coldplay, The Red Light Sting, Emery, IMR, Bad to the bone, "I'm here for a good time, not a long time. So have a good time, cuz the sun can't shine every day"...some old guys...

sHoWs: Friday night Sept.17th Media Club, IMR w/ Second, Motion Soundtrack, and Frequency Fall. $10.

Stay tuned for a Just Stay Calm CD release date, and show!

2004-09-05T04:14:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone,

Weariness, disorientation, frustration, expectations of others, anticipating the start of school, meeting new people and hearing their stories, photo albums of pictures from South East Asia, fun filled week of camping, fun filled week of camp, and amazing talks with close friends...

...all these things have been pushing me deeper and deeper into the heart of God, and into knowing my own heart. Sweet Jesus, show me how to live. Could teach me of love? Please let me know your affection. Help to release this love to others because I feel mine has run dry. Teach me how you ministered to real people. Tell me again how the Father made sure you knew who you were, and what you were born for. Oh lay me down again! I rest my head upon your heart beat, and tune my ear to the rhythm therein. Teacher - my Rabboni, speak. Cut away my resistance to what you are REALLY speaking to me. Let me know both the depth and bredth of your love for me, and the discipline and correction of a Father who knows what I need most. Maybe I need your love the most. Light up this darkness. Illuminate...consume me. Strengthen me to persevere. To run. Not on my emotional whims, but let me run with you. Run to you. I would be content to just be where you are, because without a doubt to be with you is to know you, and to know you is to love you.

...Befriended, befriended by the King above all Kings
...surrendered, surrendered to the friend above all friends
...invited, invited deep into this mystery
...delighted, delighted by the wonders I have seen

This will by my story, this will be my song
You'll always be my Savior, Jesus, You will
Always have my heart

...Astounded, astounded that your gospel beckoned me
...Surrounded, surrounded but I've never been so free

...Determined, determined now to live this life for You
...You're so worthy, my greatest gift would be the least you're due

- Matt Redman

Thanks for hearing me, jeF

tUnEs: Befriended - Matt Redman, The new Red Light Sting Album, Pilot, Ari Neufeld "Love and be Loved", New IMR, Just Stay Calm, YMCA, Be thou my vision, All for Jesus, Insipid, Be my guide, Blindside (concert coming up: Sept.13th, Croatian Cultural center - check ticket master $20).

SHOWS!!! The IMR type:
September Dates

Thursday September 9thTrinity Western University - Langley, BCw/ Tooth and Nail recording artist Emery, DS Sutton, Viv SavageALL AGES 6pm Trinity students get in free. Non-trinity students will probably get in free

Friday September 17thMedia Club - Vancouver, BCw/ Second, Motion Soundtrack, and Frequency Fall (CD release)9pm / $1019+

2004-08-10T11:46:00.000+08:00

Greetings to the beach bums, the cliff jumpers, and the sun tanners; enjoy it. Greetings to the writers of poetry, the singers of heavenly songs, and the dancers who dance upon injustice and golden streets; release it. Greetings to the 9-5 workers, the weary, and the ones waiting for rest; the Lord is near. Greetings to the hungry, the thirsty, and to the ones who house a longing for more of God deep inside; treasure it. Greetings to the beautiful hearts that are filled to overflowing with the character of Christ; guard it. We are a people belonging to God, and we are in good hands. The same hands that were pierced, will now tilt your chin up so as to meet your gaze. I will meet you there, sweet Jesus...in that secret place, in that embrace. You draw me cl oser, you bring me from strength to strength, you lead me by the hand - may I simply be drawn to you and follow you. Day in - day out.

I want to see distant lands, and cultures long forgotten by our western minds. I want to ride on the wings of the wind; feel foreign sand between my toes. Run through the woods. Swim in the water. I want to taste the elements. I want to revel in your creation. May I never abuse it. May I walk in harmony with it. I want to feel the surge of a thousand waves against my back, propelling me past time and space with my feet feeling the pull of a surf board under them. I want to fall asleep on the beach after the sunset. I will never cease to marvel at the world you have created; and I will never forget that it was made by the very words of your mouth. I want my hands to become familiar in the transfer of compassion. I want to touch the untouchables. I want to join in with a drum circle in India. To witness the unfading brilliance of children whos countenances have been untarnished by corrupt government and foreign investors. I want to pay $3 to sleep on a Cambodian shore. I want to walk in all God has called me to walk in - even if it's none of these things. Thank God his heart is to let us have abundant life. It may not include all these things, but if we delight ourselves in him we will experience things beyond what our minds can comprehend. "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4.

Enjoy the seasons of life - whether it be one of testing, one of struggle, one of toil, or one of rest. One of joy, one of sorrow, one of study, or one of adventure. Each season is precious and purposeful. Walk through with Him. Behold Jesus in all things. The morning star is shining bright this night.

Some words from the Psalmist:
"He wraps himself in light as with a garment; he stretches out the heavens like a tent and lays the beams of his upper chambers on their waters. He makes the clouds his chariot and rides on teh wings of the wind...He makes springs pour water into the ravines; it flows between the mountains...How many are your works, O Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures...may my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord."

~Verses taken from Psalm 104

I leave you with verse 19

"The moon marks off the seasons, and the sun knows when to go down"

jeF

ShOwS: Aug.15th IMR live at Mesa Luna in Vancouver with Raking bombs, heavy party, and more. $8 doors at 7:30. Just Stay Calm's new CD "THE BEGINNINGS OF LIBERTY" is soon to be released at or near the end of this month. Stay tuned for a CD release party/concert.

tUnEs: Bob Marley tribute album "Chant down to babylon", "Carousel" -Ari Neufeld, "Water into wine" -Bruce Cockburn, "How life can turn" - The Appleseed Cast, John Coltrain, Play that funky music white boy, "Like a child" some...guy, "Midsummer night" - some nerd, Dawntreader, Pride - U2

2004-07-25T08:04:00.000+08:00

Hiya peeps!

It's been a while since I've written anything on here, but that's just the way summer goes, is it not? No commitments! Freedom! Go do things! Don't sit on the computer all day! Am I right? I SAID AM I RIGHT? K, good. Just a few updates, and maybe a few words of encouragement for all y'all on this fine midsummer's day.

1. IN MEDIAS RES is playing an all ages show at Mesa Luna's in Vancouver. The address there is 1926 West Broadway. Show starts at 7pm, tickets at the door for $10. So don't say I didn't warn ya! I can't go because...

2. I'm going to Kamloops with a bunch of friends to play some worshipful music at Deeper Life Community. Deeper is Darren Jones' church and it's their 1st year church anniversary. If you know Darren, pray for a blessing to be upon them. He has recently hurt his back, so pray for healing for that too.

3. Stay posted for the Just Stay Calm CD release. It's scheduled to be done late August. If you're not on their mailing list, sign up at www.juststaycalm.com. I've heard most of the new disc, and it's unbelievable. Fav tracks are "No time for shirts", "Pain is temporary but Dan Humphreys is forever", and "Everything is broken up in dances". The new album will be called "the beginnings of liberty". Enjoy!

4. Our youth missions trip went very well. Great weather, good attitudes among the group, lots of work done, some great relationship building, and to top it all off, a great time up at Jesusfest. I pray, Jesus, that the good work that you did in us and through us on our trip would be blessed and sealed and watered. Make us seekers of your kingdom - an extension of your hand in the earth. AMEN!

A word of encouragement...from Nolan Clarks preach @Jesusfest, and an add on from me...

...let THREE FIRES burn in you this summer:
1. A FIRE of passion for Jesus. To know him. To search his heart, his word, his Holy Spirit, his charactor. To be like him. To be transformed into his image day by day (Some verse to meditate on about being like Jesus: 2 Cor 3, Phil 2, Rom 8:28-29).

2. A FIRE of purity. In a corrupt world, and in the midst of a sexually immoral generation, choose to be holy as Christ is holy. If you think you are standing strong in purity, be careful lest you fall. The summer has a way of throwing temptation right in your face, especially in the area of purity. Let his holiness move in you and through you.

3. A FIRE of power. Call upon the name of the Lord. Be a seeker of his kingdom. Pray! Intercede for friends! Call for healing, and miracles. When John the Baptist came to earth his message was repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand - it's within arms reach. Take a hold of it. The bible says that sometimes we have not because we ask not - lets ask Jesus to demonstrate his power on earth as it surely is in heaven. Surely his arm is not too short to save. Surely the power of the God is not insufficient to heal sickness and disease, to destroy cancers, and to save all who call on his name.

Above all, rest in his grace. He will make you into the man/woman he has called you to be. Just let him! Bless you guys.

jeF

toons: Just Stay Calm "Pain is temporary, Dan Humphreys is forever", Ken and Tracy "No more wasting time", "You are good to me", Blindside's "A thought crushed my mind" album, Maroon 5.

2004-06-24T09:24:00.000+08:00

Recently I've been thinking about Jesus. Who he was in the bible, and who I've heard him preached to be, and who I've heard him taught to be...and just totally been frustrated at how little I know of him. I've come a new place of desperation to simply know Christ. That's it. Jesus said that he no longer calls us servants but friends in John 15. What does it mean? Why can't I know him like that? Is my faith to small? Is it quenched by my unbelief? Am I just too pre-occupied with myself and with life to really look at him in the eyes?

I've been frustrated in evangelism. I've recently had almost no desire to tell people about him at all, because I'd be afraid of what they would say. I would think that they would see that there was no substance behind my words. They would ask me to prove it. Could I? They would water down God into a delightful shot glass sized God that they can swallow quickly to give a quick fix. How would I respond? Why do I not respond? What is holding me back? We go through seasons with God. There are times when we feel so close to him that you almost don't want to move because you don't want to lose it. There are times when we feel that the revelation that God has given us of himself and his truth is slipping out of our minds like diamonds from a clenched fist.

I think right now I'm in a season of testing. It's like God's seeing what I'm made out of. He's seeing who's strength I'm going to rely on. Mine, or His. He's seeing if I can step out in faith and tell people who he is by both word and deed even if I don't feel like I know him as a close friend. He's seeing if I can persevere and be faithful to do what he's called me to do in this season. He's seeing if I can bring my failures before him in complete brokenness and have him restore me and bring me to even new levels of anointing. He's sifting me, he's pruning me. He is making me desperate for him. He's making sure I'm never content with where I am with Him. May I never be comfortable with the depth of my relationship with Jesus, but rather let me always be moving along and exploring his heart deeper and deeper. This sounds poetic and lovely...but friends, this hurts! It really does. You see his heart, and then you see YOUR heart - the very thing he wants. You realize he wants to make it like his. And that's when the conviction comes to take out what's holding you back from more of him, and putting his very heart in it's place. You know that song Blindside does "About a burning fire"? Well there's this line that says "IT HURRRRTS!". And I think of that whenever God is asking to be apart of more of my life - more of my heart - more of my mind. I want to know you Jesus, not just read about you. I want to walk with you, and be aware of you during the day. I want to talk to you in my room and sing to you in the shower. I want to hang out with you in the mountains. I want to find you in the valleys. I want to know you more, Jesus. And the cool thing is (a friend of mine, Salina, reminded me of this) that God will give you the things you ask for, the desires of your heart, the things that are according to his will, and he will give you them...in full.

And so,

"How long until I'm satisfied? I must have more of you. And if I'm healed by just one touch of your garment Lord. Then how much more of your love is for me than I'm tasting Lord. Draw me! Take me! And I will run over the mountains and down into the valley, I will run with you!"

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead." Phil 3:10

Who is Jesus to you, and how do you communicate with him during your day...and how do you communicate him to people that have never met him? Comments?

jeF

tUnEs: "You take your car to work, I'll take my board"-Weezer, To Resist You -Ari Neufeld, Clocks - Coldplay, This song by Delirious? that says "Is there grace enough these days, to forgive someone like me?", Of What Was and A Cause for Concern - IMR, Moome (spelling?), Hot hot heat, Strong Bad, Dare you to move - Switchfoot, AND JUST STAY CALM!!!

2004-06-13T05:15:00.000+08:00

In the words of Blindside, "YAH UH UH! UH UH YAH!"

I think that's swedish for, "What's up?" or something. Ahem...yes. Anyways, I just thought I'd give everyone a quick update on the Blindside show last night. It was a rocking good time. Although we would have had 3rd row seats at the Queen Elizabeth theatre, it got switched to the Croatian Cultural Center which had no seating, just a pit. I was sorta bumbed about it, but having been through the concert last night, I wouldn't have had it any other way! For Blindside me and my sister were basically 3rd row anyway in the mosh pit for the whole show. Before they came on, I was thinking to myself, "I gotta do something for Blindside that they will remember. So that in years to come they will look back on Vancouver and say, that was a sweet show." So I was like...I must make a sign! So I got a piece of paper, bummed a sharpie off this guy with a "Jesus" touque, and thought about what to write that would make an impact on the band, and get the crowd stirred up and ready to rock and roll. Then...it just came to me: "BLINDSIDE FOR PRIME MINISTER!" So I made it, and held it up for the whole crowd, and the place went nuts! Everyone started chanting "BLINDSIDE, BLINDSIDE!" And there was so much energy in that place. It was rad! Then DURING the show. I got the attention of each band member and they read the sign, and every one of them gave me a huge swedish metal smile, and I got a thumbs up from Christian the lead singer. It...was beautiful. I stayed right at the front so I could see the action for most of the show, but when they busted out "About a burning fire" at the end, I went nuts into the pit, and crowd surfed over the front 3 times and walked right in front of the band, fist a flying, and feet-a-dancin'!

Afterwards I talked to the bass player and the drummer, and I was like, "So, what do you think. Blinside for Prime Minister?" And they both laughed. The drummer said that they were talking about that backstage after the show, and that it made their night, then gave me a high five...sigh...ok, enough remenising about last night. Oh ya! POD was pretty cool too.

Aight, peace out yo! A few random public service announcements:

1. Don't y'all forget about fuel on the 19th. It's gonna be an amazing time of worshipping Jesus with good friends.

2. I had an amazing interview with the Leisure center this week, and I'm doing an in-water exam this monday night to see if they wanna hire me, so pray that God will help me bust out the mad skills in the first aid department. I'm really excited/nervous about it.

3. Presently, Steve Taramara is my lave today, and I was sitting on the sundeck eating my lunch while watching him power wash our front drive way!

SEE YA!
jeF

"I will sing of your mercy that leads me through valley's of sorrow, to rivers of joy" - Jars of Clay

TuNeS: "About a burning fire, Sleepwalking, Eye of the Storm, Follow You Down" - Blindside, "Lie down, Southtown" -POD, "New Noise" -Refused, Healer -Ten Shekel Shirt, Miles Davis, "Who is so great a God" -Heather Clark

2004-05-31T09:57:00.000+08:00

I’m a man in need of grace. Sweet Jesus hold me tightly so it‘s impossible for me to hide.
I’m a man in need of grace. Grace for life. Grace for love. Grace to live in love.
I’m a man in need of grace. Come quickly to my side, be near to me this night.
I’m a man in need of grace. Grace to pour out, grace for ministry - cuz I’m running dry

You said that the weak can come boldly before the throne of grace
So that we can find help in our time of need.
Oh Jesus I gathered up all my strength like fallen birch tree leaves on the frosted autumn earth.
And yet all I can do is slowly crawl towards your feet.
That’s all I have, I’m falling on my knees.
How I need you, Lord, won’t you come and rescue me
Take me as I am, oh won’t you please?

I’m a man in need of grace.

-jeF

tUnEs: Just Stay Calm (live from Elgin Hall in White rock last night...SO hot right now), Refused, Dream theatre, the first track off the beautiful album, Blindside "After your gone", Coldplay parachutes, John Coltrain.

neWS: I'm officially applied for Pacific Life Bible College for the fall. I'm probably gonna be hired as a lifeguard soon. I'm really tired right now. I need to take guitar lessons to get good at stuff. Time to go and figure out a plan to help some twelve year olds learn to do whip kick and pray about a teaching on destructive media influences for the upcoming encounter weekend (June 25-26th Ministry center $10 7pm?...)

I love you all. Let us dwell in the throne of grace together as family

2004-05-15T05:26:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone, all those who seek out the heart of God, all those who fall on the rock of God and are broken into pieces, all those who have been taken from darkness into light, all those who have tasted and seen that He is good, all those who are struggling, discouraged, or depressed but yet are still captivated by the tenderness and grace of Christ...welcome. Welcome to Lydias house - a house of worship, of undivided focus, of undivided hearts who love God. Be blessed with the fellowship of the Spirit of God. Enter into the presence of God, literally, right now. Run in, and never look back. Run through the woods of heaven. Run through the gates of praise. Let high praise ring through the streets even from the lowest places. Even through seasons of grief, confusion, doubt, depression, and uncertainty.

I've been on a roller coaster as of late. Death and disease, and now injury have made there way to the forefront of my vision. Life sometimes weighs heavily upon me. I've been learning to cast my cares on Christ, as the psalmist writes in Psalm 55, for he cares for me. I re-injured my back last night at the Samarai Warrior party we had at Brandon's house. I went home and wept not knowing what was to happen with my back. How am I supposed to lifeguard with a messed up back? How am I supposed to save up for Bible College if I can't work? Jesus said that Healing is the children's bread (Mark 7). Are we not the children of God? God I am hungry for the bread that you gave to your children when you walked the very streets of Israel. Let healing flow to your adopted chilren! But at the same time, are we not supposed to relate and identify with the sufferings of Christ, which were his glory? I'm starting to identify with the Psalmists who wrote amazing verses of passionate praise. Sometimes we skip over the verses that come before the praise, but most of the psalms have this overwhelming context of suffering that the praise is being birthed out of...example:

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has noghtin I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me...(I love that)...But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." Psalm 73:22-28 (emphasis added)

I love passages like that, they have this indescribable ability to sort of scoop us into the arms of Christ. But what we sorta overlook is the 20 verses before that where the psalmist pours his heart out to God. All his struggling, his bitterness, his anger, just flood heaven for 20 verses. A few examples:

vs.2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I almost lost my foothold.

vs. 13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

The Psalmist (Asaph by name) laments over the success of the wicked, and the arrogant pride they display in blaspheming God, and wonders if what he has put himself through is worth it. It's out of that context that this piercing praise rises. Somehow God meets him there. He just does! And he does it for us too.

Although my struggles are pathetic and miniscule compared to others who literally suffer daily for Christ, God still cares about them. But in spite of them, I will worship God with everything inside of me. I will run! Run into his arms. I will humble myself and put my knees on the ground before him. I will bow before the King of Kings. I will be faithful to what he has called me to do in this time. I will walk hand in hand with God to whatever end. I will walk in love and compassion to all because his strength sustains me.

I invite you to share any stories about how you have personally experienced suffering and how praise sprung forth from that place!

May God be near to you all,
jeF

PS (I found my ART worship CD...in my CD holder...STUPID STUPID STUPID)

TUNES: Art, Enter the Worship Circle 2nd Circle, Wildings, Rik Leaf, Chris Janzen,...and...The Kung Fu Fighting song...

2004-05-02T05:48:00.000+08:00

Hey peoples,

This post has a two fold purpose: 1. To express a heart of grief and prayer for the life of Kayla John who died this tuesday April 27th. 2. To encourage you to be transformed into the image of Christ.

1. I'm sure many of you have heard about Kayla, but for those who haven't, I'll fill you in. Kayla John was 13 years old. She lived in a small community called Zeballos which is mainly populated by Nuu Cha Nulth natives. She went missing monday morning, and was found behind her house, dead, tuesday afternoon. Presently they are conducting an autopsy on her body in their investigation for murder. RCMP reported the death to be mysterious and suspicious. My prayer is that the comfort of Jesus would resonate in the hearts of all who knew her and were affected by her death. Undoubtedly everyone in town knew her as there are inbetween 200 to 300 people living in Zeballos. Esperanza will be in need of prayer as well as they are heavily involved in grief counselling, and going through grief as well themselves. My prayer, also, is that justice would be served. That if she was murdered, that the case would be resolved quickly, and the evil that cause such a thing to happen to so beautiful a girl, would be exposed and brought into the light. With the prophet Amos I cry out "..Let Justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream" Let if roll right through that community, Jesus! Like a mighty river, O GOD! Have mercy upon this community! Comfort all who mourn. Extend your hand to those in need. Let your kingdom come, and let your will be done in this community, and let it be used for the furtherance of your kingdom on the westcoast of Vancouver Island. I had a picture of Kayla the other day walking down the isle of a heavenly wedding dressed in a light pink dress, and scattering pink rose flowers as she walked down the isle. I think she will be one of the flower girls when Jesus comes back and the wedding of the Bride to the Bridegroom takes place. What a day that will be. But for now, she's at home with Jesus.

It's times like these where we can only hope that it will be like it was for Joseph in Gen. 50:20-21. Joseph went through a lot of trials and injustices. But he went from the prison to the palace. When his relationship was restored, finally, between him and his brothers (who had sold him into slavery in the first place) and his father Jacob, he said "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of MANY LIVES. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them." I believe that that passage has some significant promises for the community of Zeballos in this time of loss, shock, and grief.

So let tears of intercession flow for this community. Sometimes that's all we can do, but I'm convinced that it's in those times where God hears our hearts cry the strongest. I was suprised at how hard grief and mourning hit me on tuesday, and even in writing this post it wasn't without tears. I can't even begin to image what it would be like for the families in Zeballos. So please do pray.

2. As for me, I've been struck today with a simply passion. To be like Jesus. To be transformed into his image. To think the way he thinks. To feel the way he feels. To not go through the motions in my christian walk, but to understand what I'm doing, and why I'm doing it. And to question myself as to if I really mean what I'm doing with my whole heart. For instance with giving to him. Is it just to get myself "right" with God? Or is it like parfume poured on his feet. Is everything I do worship? Am I allowing God to cut off things in my heart that are not from him. Am I falling in love with him each day? Am I putting him first in all I do? Am I loving with the love he has given me? Am I valuing the church - his bride? Am I being faithful in the little things he has given me? But mostly...am I just....letting go of my pride and embracing him. Letting him change me to be like him. I'm sick of living like the world. I want to strip it all away and let God show me how to live. Jesus, I want to be like you, and I want to be with you. Teach me.

thoughts? prayers?
Bless you!
jeF

TuNeS: Weezer...it was the only thing keeping my spirits alive when I was working over time yesterday till 8:45 PM AT NIGHT...sheesh, Just Stay Calm ...missed their show last night because I had to work overtime...drat..., Wildings, Switchfoot "the beautiful letdown" "More than fine" "this is your life"

2004-04-29T11:57:00.000+08:00

Hey peoples,

I hope you're all keeping it real, i know I am! word. A few things really quick.

1. Does anyone have my worship CD called "Art" with Ari Neufeld, Andrew Smith, and Kim McMechan? It's REALLY IMPORTANT

2. I didn't end up playing with Ari Neufeld Sunday, his voice was shot, so we didn't bother asking him.

3. If you could, please remember to pray for the community of Zeballos. They have recently suffered a terrible tragedy. A young girl (13) was murdered. They found her body yesterday, April 27th. She loved the Lord, and now she is truly home. Pray for the family, the community, and for the staff at Esperanza who will undoubtedly be affected by this as they walk through grief with the people of Zeballos and minister Christ's comfort and tenderness.

4. About all the George W. Bush cafuffle. George W. Bush is a man. He's not perfect, but he has been appointed by God to govern the most powerful nation in the world. A couple verses: "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." Rom 13:1 "I urge, then, FIRST of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." I don't believe in critcizing him or any other leader, even in jest. This is something I struggle with. And I would invite anyone who's reading this to keep me acountable to it. Mr.Bush makes mistakes. You try governing a nation of that magnitude, and see how you do. There is however a higher authority, which is of course the resurected and reigning Christ Jesus. If a person in authority is going against something in the word of God, the obvious authority is the word of God. Cool cool.

5. Golf Canucks, Golf!
Thoughts? Prayers? CD?????

jeF

TuNeS: Jason Upton, Blindside, Switchfoot, Ari Neufeld

2004-04-22T10:36:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone,

I'm desperate, has anyone borrowed my worship CD called, "Art" It has Ari Neufeld, and Kim McMechan, and Andrew Smith. If you have it, PLEASE COMMENT, or phone me. Thanks.

Speaking of Ari Neufeld, you'll never guess what happened to Kate and I when we went to see him play on sunday. Well we were having a great time visiting, us being Kristy Fornwald, Tiffany (from Kamloops) Amy Enns, and Michelle (her room mate), after the show. Tiff bought a CD from Ari, and I started talking to him like I usually do after his shows (at least for a bit anyway) and I asked him if he ever played any of his older stuff like "To Resist You". I told him it was my fav. song of his by far. He said not really because the band doesn't know it, but sometimes he likes to do a quiet solo song at the beginning of his second set. I asked him if he would play it and stuff next week. He asked me if I knew anyone who could sing harmony for it, and I looked over at Kate (who was wide eyed) and I said, Kate would probably love to do it. I told him if he wanted some procussion I could do some of that too. And he said YES! WOO! So, Kate's singing with Ari Neufeld this sunday night at The Royal on Granville st. in Vancouver!...and I might play procussion. Of course on the way home I realized that I should have said I could sing harmony...it totally didn't even cross my mind...wierd. Besides, Kate's voice would probably better compliment Ari's seeing as my voice has been trying to sound like Ari for a good 5 years now! haha! So if you wanna come, give me shout, or just type this address into a yahoo or mapquest map page: 1029 Granville Street Vancouver, BC and get there for around 8:45 pm ready to rock and or roll!

...um, quick say something spiritual...um...I...well...SPIRIT FIRE WIND RAIN....shama

jeF

TUNES: Wildings "Sing of love", Blindside "After You're gone" (oh man this song ROCKS), Kevin Prosche, Ari Neufeld "to resist you" Five Iron Frenzy "World without an end" (quite possibly my favourite FIF song right now)...oh! And ANY Just Stay Calm!

2004-04-12T14:11:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone,

It's wierd what the weather can do to you. I'm sure everyone has probably been enjoying our freakishly early summer weather. I think it was hotter today than it was on most of the days of my Kelowna vacation last summer. Crazy, eh? But I was just taking a walk out outside, and smelling the air...you know the smell of dusk, when it's sorta warm, but sorta cool. And you breath in the air and it's warm, and the trees are budding and releasing this...savory sweet scent (that was the best I could come up with, ok?) And somehow it awakens both beautiful and painful memories, and emotions. And your kind of frozen in this alter reality, almost. You don't really wanna leave, because you are remembering the feeling of summer vacations where you had no responsibility, and you could do whatever you want. And then you wonder why the world is weighing so heavily on you...and you long to be free...

But then God does things that amaze you, and he kinda...sweeps you off your feet. here's the story. He let me play a concert at Ethical addictions last night with Chris Lemky and a band called Whitfield from Kamloops (formerly known as Jobie Mallet), and when we were arranging the set we were gonna play, Chris suggested that I sing out the chorus of this one Violet burning song. It goes like this:

"If you heal me Lord, I will follow. If you lead me Lord, I will go.
Come and heal me Lord, I will follow, come and lead me Lord, I will go."

And it just struck a chord in me. I didn't even think about it when I first practiced it, but it slowly dawned on me that this chorus was exactly my heart RIGHT NOW. I feel weak, and in need of Jesus. I feel tired and burnt out, and sorta complacent. I'm pressing in by faith in whatever I'm doing, but not much more than that. There's a lot of death to self in that place, and a lot of learning what true passion and worship is all about. I feel like doing absolutely nothing. Like just walking around smelling the air, and singing to my Jesus, and pouring out my heart to him, and not caring about all the "responsibilities/commitments/meetings/work days/etc..." of life. But I know God has called me for such a time as this, and he has created me to be a warrior for him. To fight for him, to declare his glory, to advance his kingdom, to cry out for his heart to be revealed in this land, to see the healing break forth...but I also just need to cry out to him for the healing I need to continue walking, running, and flying with him. Cry out! CRY OUT, and don't let the times silence your voice calling for your Father. So I told Jesus, If you heal me, Jesus.....I will follow. If you lead me...I will go. But if you're not in it, it's meaningless, God. I need to know you are behind it all, and it's all about you. Because my own vision fails me. My own passion runs out. My own capacity to love people dries and cracks in the heat of life. My own faith flees away. I need YOU in ME. I just need you, Jesus. I just need you. Show me how to live. What is abundant life? I only see it in you...everywhere else I look I see brokenness. But somehow with you, your brokenness was your beauty, and your weakness was your strength, and your cross was your glory...engrain that on me.

I think sometimes I determine my identity and worth in what I'm accomplishing and doing. I'm finding out that it's all crap. What counts is your heart, what it looks like, how it moves and cares and feels and knows and...connects with the heart of God. From that place, what you do will naturally spring out. What counts is that Jesus knows the depth of who you are. The depth friends. We are complex human beings. He knows us through and through. And so much more than that, he knows us and deeply desires us to come and love and be loved. To come and know and be known. And sitting and knowing that is enough for me. Honestly it is.

So Jesus, could you just tell me one more time who I am? Tell me one more time, that your love for me is like an ocean? Could I just sit here a while letting you take all my burdens away? Jesus, my friend. Hear my heart, see my tears. Be near to me. You knew I needed a friend, lets dance this dance, you and I, together.

"You know I believe you when you say, that you love me. You know I believe you when you tell me, you're not leaving. Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I need you. Jesus, I love you, O my Lord." - The Wildings

may the tenderness of Jesus dwell with you both now, and always
jeF

TuNeS/eVeNtS: FUEL, this saturday, CRC church, 7:30pm.
Just Stay Calm, baby. Check their site. find shows. go see them. be amazed www.juststaycalm.com, Wildings, Five Iron Frenzy "Fantom Mullet" "World without and end", Portis Head, Cowboys Priest, Blindside track 5 off of "a thought crushed my mind"

2004-03-21T07:10:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone,
It's been so long. I've experienced so much. Struggled so much. Fallen so much. Gotten up again so much. Learned so much. Cried so much. Been comforted so much. Received from Jesus so much. It's all very overwhelming at this point. But through everything that's been going on the message to me from God has been like this:

You are a child, Jeff. Come to me like a child. Don't pretend. Come to me just as you are. Do not try to be someone else. Do not be afraid to be yourself. You will chase after other identities and never find them. You will be at peace when you let go of your fear, and be who I've called you to be. So get up! Get up, Jeff! Have I not called you? There is a time to sit under my wing and find rest and learn from me, and there is a time to spread your wings and fly. Learn to live in those two realities, and stop gropping around on the ground wondering what's to become of you. Come to me. I will show you my love. I will still you with my voice. I will teach you how to love as I love. And if you trust me, I will let you fly. I have given you the air, Jeff. I have given you the air...so fly. You've never been content with the earth. Rise into the atmosphere and let me take you to new places of which you have not heard. I'm your friend. Be still and know that I am God. My ways are not your ways, trust in me. You want the destination, I want the journey. Just come with me, my child, come with me.

As a gathering of worshippers, lets share how we feel God has been drawing us to himself as the children that we are. What does this look like in your life?

jeF

TuNeS: Jason Upton the "Remember" CD. New IMR songs I haven't heard in a long time, Matt Redman, and NOT Britany Spears cuz she's the creapiest thing since creapy first began.

2004-03-03T07:34:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone,

I just got back from a weekend in Kamloops yesterday. Me and some good friends went up to praise Jesus at Darren's church. We hauled up all our instruments and had a blast. It's so encouraging to see God moving in power. Darren says his church grows in number every week, and it's no joke, there was salvation the night we led worship. There is much rejoicing in heaven over one person who comes into the kingdom of God. Sometimes I think I don't even understand the reality of someone being brought literally from death to life...maybe we should be rejoicing more over souls being saved.

The friday before we left, my Oma and Opa came over for dinner and it was one of the most beautiful evenings I've had in a while. They just got back from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, and they shared about their trip. But the most beautiful part about the evening was that they totally started to open up about their past. They sort of retold the story of how they both met in Germany after WWII, and how my Opa moved to Canada with 20 bucks in his pocket and only know 2 words of english. A little while later he sent money to Oma and brought her over to Canada. When my Opa left, everyone told my Oma that she would never see him again and that he was going to leave her and never come back. They told her that he didn't really love her. But he did! And so much! Their eyes were welling up with tears, as were ours. I had a million things to do, and lots on my mind because I was leaving for kamloops the next day, but I couldn't leave the table. They were sharing their hearts. I cried when they told the story of when my mom was born. It was an amazing night. I feel as though our relationship with our relatives on my mom's side (all of which are unsaved) are getting so much better, and things that seperated us are falling to the ground. Jesus help me to pray for them, for you love them more than life.

I'm filled with so many feelings right now...I'm generally without peace right now...I need to spend some time with Jesus...which I will go do right now...

jeF

TuNeS: Just Stay Calm "No time for shirts", Switchfoot "Amy's song", U2 "Kite" and "Walk On", Matt Redman "Holy Moment"

Scripture: Psalm 46, Isa 61, Heb 10

2004-02-23T15:36:00.000+08:00

Hello...it's late and I want to go to bed, but I had to make a few anouncements.

1. Blindside's new album "About a burning flame" comes out this tuesday Feb.24th. You can listen to the album before you even BUY it at shoutweb.com if you want. Click on Blindside Listening party. The first track is my fav. Enjoy.

2. Everyone knows this, but the Passion comes out on Wednesday. If you are gonna see it, try to see it during the first week. To make a statement in the box office you wanna show support for the film in the first week.

3. Thanks to everyone who worked so hard at the Esperanza Car wash. Word on the street is we made over 700 bucks!

4. Just Stay Calm rocks! AND they are playing at the marine club on March 3rd at probably sometime around 7ish, or later. They are also playing at BOB 8 at a church in Surrey on the corner of 64th and Scott Road. Venere and IMR are ALSO playing. Should be a good show.

5. Jesus' heart is turned towards you as you sit and read these words. His gaze is upon you, and he loves what he sees. There is beauty in his heart. There is beauty in his house. Come on! Let's go to God's house!

2004-02-14T06:28:00.000+08:00

Hello peoples...you beautiful peoples, you.

It's been a while since I've posted on here. Lots has happened...lots has been worked through...lots hasn't...lots of questions still unanswered...or perhaps I'm struggling with the answer...lots of mixed emotions...lots of decisions...lots of passions...lots of laziness...lots of frustration...some discouragment...great joy...uncertainty...lots of pulls in many directions...lots of encouragement (the southgate worship conference)...lots of rock and roll (Just Stay Calm, baby, Just stay calm)...but what I'm yearning for right now is simply this:

To love and be loved

To love Jesus, and be loved by Jesus. He knows me fully...and loves me fully. I don't know him fully, and I don't love him fully. But the wierd thing is I'm not particularily lovable, and he knows everything about me. Every weakness, every struggle, all my apathy, my multifaceted/multi-layered pride, my fear, my sin, and yet he adores me. This love humbles me. This love sweeps me away. I don't want anything of this earth to quench my love for him. Whether that be my own pettiness, the circumstances of life, or spiritual forces of evil. Recently he has put a new song in my mouth and awakened the voice of praise - let nothing take that away from me. The sheer joy of loving Him, and being loved by him.

What does this look like in your own life?

jeF

TUNES: Just Stay Calm played at the Brickyard and rocked the known world, Paul Oakley's "Unafriad" album, Cold Play, Blindside "the endings"

2004-02-04T15:40:00.000+08:00

Hello you crazy internet people,

Before I start I have some awesome praise reports to give you. Many of you know my backs been all messed up lately, and I've been waiting to see if WCB is gonna cover me and compensate me for the work I've missed, and pay for rehabiliation to get me back to work. After a long time of me playing phone tag with them and my doctors, they have confirmed it! YAY! I was dancing around my house when I heard about it! So that means I can pay for my rent, car insurance, gas, and WSI lifeguarding course! And so much more. Also, I get to go to Esperanza with HPMCS for a week in March as a leader! Go figure! haha! I am so excited. I miss Esperanza so much. Also, do not forget to go see The Passion of the Christ which opens in theatres Ash Wednesday, Feb.25th. I'm fully going, and I wanna see if I can get some of my friends from work who don't know Jesus to come see it. Perhaps God will use it to make himself real to them.

What I wanna talk about, and let you wonderful people talk about is the relevancy of Jesus Christ today. I've been grieved by the fact that, largely, the church isn't impacting our culture in Canada like it is in other nations of the world. For example Bogota, Columbia where there are churches are growing by the thousands. Or in China, where even in the face of persecution, the church moves underground, and thrives! However in Canada, church attendance is going down. People choose from a smorgasboard of spirituality to best suit their needs. We are comfortable in our church circles, and are mostly on a spirtual "defensive". What I mean by defensive is that we are barely able to hang onto the faith of ourselves, and our families inside the church that we can't even think of bringing Christ to our city, and nation. I do think that the church is very precious to God, and that we go through seasons. God refers to his church as his bride. But I'm beginning to wonder at the longevity (or length) of this season.

I've been very stirred, as of late, by a book Mr.Kennedy gave me to read about Biblical faith in a Postmodern Age. I am new to the idea of postmodernity, myself, but am finding it very interesting to study the history of our culture, and understand why our culture is where it is today. If anyone out there has studied Postmodernity, please share what you've learn about it and how you think the person of Christ can impact a Postmodern world. For others like me who are still learning about our culture - think about the world you live in. I mean YOUR life. The people you come into contact with inside the church but outside of church in particular. What is our diagnosis for our culture today. What drives people? What do people live for? What is the emotional state of our culture? What is the spiritual state? What are your experiences with "evengelism" or in other words introducing Christ to real people. How is Christ relevant? How have you seen the gospel positively influence people? How have you seen it turn people away from seeking Jesus?

I'll leave you with a quote from the book I'm reading (The book's called: Truth is stranger than it used to be, and it's written by J Richard Middleton, and Brian J. Walsh) I hope it provokes some thought.

jeF

"When we search for a biblical analogy to multiphrenia*, the demon possessed man of Mark 5 comes to mind. In answer to the second worldview question, Who are you?, the postmodern self replies, "My name is Legion, for we are many" (v.9). Controlled by many spirits, the man in the biblical story was tormented, homeless and in need of healing. So, it seems to us, is the contemporary postmodern psyche. Rather than valorizing the emerging postmodern worldview, we ought to recognize the tragic character of the answers to the first two worldview questions provided by contemporary culture:
Where are we? In a pluralistic world of our own construction
Who are we? We are Legion"

(multiphrenia basically is the state of our culture which, while trying to find what is real in life, suffers from a sort of "multiple personality disorder" of the mind)

TUNES: FIVE IRON FRENZY is releasing their last live show from Denver Colorado, COMBINED with their last studio album entitled "The End is Near" in ONE TWO DISC PACKAGE. It will be called "The End is Here" (not near), and it hits stores APPRIL 20th! I saw them play in seattle, this will be a rad album to get for all you FIF fans out there.

Radiohead "Like Spinning Plates", Paul Oakley "Unafraid" album, Pedro the Lion "Whole"

2004-01-29T03:35:00.000+08:00

maybe when I feel sufficient, I'm really broken
maybe every time I come to you, I must come with nothing
maybe you're nearer than I would ever know
and more real than life itself could ever reveal
maybe all I am has nothing to do with me at all,
but everything to do with what you are doing.
maybe your heart weeps more tears
than all the oceans in this earth; the drops from your eyes
saturating the dry ground faster than the flood.
maybe if I really knew you, my tears would flow more freely

maybe I only know a mystery; a legend of who you are
and I have only grazed the skin of your heart with my
feeble prayers and offereings of praise.
maybe I am unaware of you standing over me right now,
alive and well, waiting for a glimpse of my eyes...
waiting for the chance that our visions would cross...
and become one.

maybe I'm scared to truly look
because one look into your eyes means
knowing you. And knowing you means
understanding you. And undestanding you means
loving you. And loving you means following you...
to whatever end...

maybe you're more dangerous than I've given you credit for
maybe losing myself is truly the only way to find life
and the only way to live is to die
maybe this world does have everything backwards and upside down
and this kingdom, as offensive and frieghtening as it may be,
holds the keys to truth. maybe this kingdom is nearer than I ever thought
and he's been waiting for me to trust him and lay everything on the line
maybe this kingdom could touch earth right now! maybe if I would go
you'd be with me. maybe I need you more than I ever dreamed
maybe your grace is the only thing that sustains me.
maybe your friendship is the only worth I have.
maybe your intimacy is a treasure more precious
than all I hold dear. maybe you go to greater
lengths than time has to tell to get my attention

...maybe I'm falling in love with you all over again

2004-01-20T07:15:00.000+08:00

Greetings everyone! (new links on the left! Check 'em out!)

"The next day John [the Baptist] was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, 'Look, the Lamb of God!' When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, "What do you want?" They said, 'Rabbi (which means teacher), where are you staying?' 'Come,' he replied, 'and you will see.' So they went wand saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. It was about the tenth hour. "

John 1:39

Recently I've been moved by the way Jesus got peoples attention in the bible. This particular encounter with Jesus by Andrew and John is sorta where I'm at. Everything in my life that I'm experiencing is pointing me, and drawing me to Jesus. Sorta like how John the Baptist pointed out, "Look, the Lamb of God." Jesus walking along the river Jordan...what a beautiful image. I feel like everywhere I look, and everyone I talk to, and everything I have been reading has just been pointing to Jesus. It doesn't matter what happens. He's drawing me. My only response is to follow him - wide eyed and wondering who this Jesus is, and what's gonna happen to my life if I get involved with him. What will happen if I believe in this Jesus? What will my life look like when I let him change me into his image and put his heart and mind in mine? Scary to say the least. This Jesus is dangerous. And he goes to great lengths to get our attention.

Like John the beloved, and Andrew, I ask, "Teacher, where are you staying?" What are you doing these days, Jesus? What burns in you? Where do you eat? How do you spend your time? Who do you interact with? And His response is simply, "Come, and you will see." ....Come! Come and see! These days that's all I'm getting from him. I'm uncertain as to what I"m to do right now, and where I'm going. But my comfort is that Jesus knows, and it's more than I could ever ask or imagine. He's got my attention. We know more than John and Andrew did. We know the whole story. The life, the miracles, the wonders, the teaching, the death, the burial, the resurection, the ascension. We are part of his kingdom! And yet, how involved are we in the life of Christ? Am I just living my life? Am I as commited to Him in the same way he is commited to me? Definatly not. I want to understand this new covenant we always talk about. This covenant of grace- and how it compells us to action. A covenant requires two peoples faithfulness.

I wanna open this up for discussion for anyone who wanders into Lydia's house. How is God getting your attention these days? And what are some stories from the word that strike you as "beautiful encounters with Christ". Ready GO!

jeF

Tunes: Ari Neufeld "Old man songs by a boy for a girl", Appleseed Cast "How life can turn" Rik Leaf, Jonathan Anderson, FIF "Farsighted".

Concerts: Just saw Ari Neufeld sunday night at the Royal in Vancouver on Granville st. He plays every sunday night at around 8:30. Check it out if you're 19, or are inclined to sneaking in under age. Switchfoot is coming to Vancouver in March, check it out at switchfoot.com, IMR Jan 29th The Brickyard 9 pm, Hejira and Second this friday in Richmond...unsure of details.

2004-01-12T08:42:00.000+08:00

I feel so overwhelmed right now. Overwhelmed with the goodness of God. Overwhelmed with love for the people in my life both in the body of Christ and out of it. I feel like throwing my head back and laughing out of pure joy of what God is up to. He's doing so many things in the people all around me. I know my brother has recently experienced an amazing vision from the God. Many of you know Larry and Heide Warren and their amazing family. Their car broke down one sunday morning. They made it to church somehow, and then God told them to just not worry about it, but to just pay off any bills that they have to pay and carry on. That week someone GAVE them a car! And on top of that, someone gave them a large amount of money so Larry could buy a guitar to teach guitar lessons with. I was talking to him after church today. As the tears welled up in his eyes, all he could say was. "He is faithful, Jeff. I love him. Praise God." It came right from his heart, and it was real because it was birthed out of real experience. That's what I'm all about right now. Experiencing Jesus for myself, and seeing people experience him. No more putting on a face, or empty words. Just pure, untainted, de-religionized Jesus. Experiencing his heart through his word. Knowing his grace. Undestanding my adoption into his famiy. I am a Son. Being rooted and established on that foundation. THe foundation IS the person. It is Jesus. He IS love.

In a lot of ways these days are hard. It's been a struggle for sure just carrying on these last couple months, but at the same time I have just been falling in love with Jesus all over again. I've had quite a bit of time on my hands because my back has crapped out on me again, and I'm off work for like 3 months. Apparently I have to do rehab and stuff too. So my life's totally changed as of like last week when I got that news. I'm trying to save up for school, and stuff, and it's thrown a bit of a wierd jar in my plans, which I know are from God. But it's like...I don't even care! It's so wierd. I'm just resting in the arms of Jesus. If I get money from WCB or not...big deal! haha! It's great! I know it'll work out. I've taken this time to start, or restart different disciplines like daily worship, prayer, and time in the word. And I haven't been faithful in it. I've missed days for whatever reason. But I'm not worried about that either, because it's not about performing for Jesus so that he'll give in and speak to you and you'll attain some level of spirituallity. No! He wants my heart. He knows my heart. He knows when I'm just doing devotions out of religion. And he knows the times when I am truly bringing my heart before him and laying myself bare. So, then, it becomes more than how much time you spend with him. It's what happens when you do. And I totally know that sometimes it IS hard to meet with him. There are dry times. Believe me I've had my share, and still do. I'm just in one of those sweet spots, you know? It's like...the warm water inlet on the bottom of the leisure center teach pool...you just don't wanna leave. haha!

I feel my fear falling off me. It's wofting off of me like chaff in the wind. I'm starting to laugh at my apathy. Just full on laugh at it! I'm sorry, you don't understand, I have a fire lit in my heart. His name is Jesus. He is my flame. My fires fail. His fire is the only thing that's constant - I'm finding that this was destined to be my strength. He's making me more like himself. That's what it's about, friends. When our hearts are his, he can mold us into his image. In this way people will see and know him through us. How can we even start to evangelise to the lost if we don't know him and love him with a pure heart?

I watched this Jesus movie the other day. It was the one that was on TV a few years ago. SO GOOD. You know how you read things and it doesn't hit you, and then...you see it, and the reality of the person of Jesus just hits you like a wave? Ya. That was what happened to me. I wept as I saw Jesus stop along the side of the road and heal this crippled man. Well I wept through half of the movie, but that's not the point! It was so powerful how they filmed it. Everyone was argueing back and forth about if he was the real "Messiah". And Jesus wasn't even responding to them. He was just looking at the man on the ground. And we crouches down and asks him, "Do you believe I can make you well." THe man says yes. And he throws a blanket over his legs and sorta runs his hands over the legs sorta like he's re-creating them, and then he takes the blanket away and the dude is completely restored! Everyone was in shock and disbelief. But the joy on that man's face was like none other. I wept! So good. FRIENDS, THAT'S OUR JESUS! THAT'S THE ONE WHO WE SERVE! THAT'S WHO WE WORSHIP! HE IS ALIVE TODAY! HE IS THE SAME GUY! We need to preach Jesus in his fullness. If we have him, we have everything! Praise God!

jeF

Tunes: Wildings 'I wanna follow", The Appleseed Cast 'the last ring' and anything from their new album "two conversations" (the tunes are sweet, but the lyrics are a little iffy...too much whiny breaking up with your girlfriend stuff) Switchfoot (the whole learning to breath album, and the song on beautiful let down that says "I'm on fire when he's near me, I'm on fire when he speaks") IMR (all of it, but especially the 3rd song they played last night at the purple onion:) Great show by the way.

GO SEE JUST STAY CALM JAN 15 (check website for details, link on the left)

2004-01-07T05:56:00.000+08:00

Hey Everyone. (stay with me, it's long, but this is a very crucial post)

That was some sweet sauce encouragement in your comments. Thank you so much. I value you all. You make Lydia's house beautiful. Let's paint the walls of this community with extravagant praise. Let's give ourselves to the furthering of his glorious kingdom. It's the only thing that will last, you know. Psalms says "Your kingdom is an EVERLASTING kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. " Psalm 145:13. And in 2 Cor 4:17-18 Paul says, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." So be encouraged, everyone. You're labour is not in vain. We are a part of the greatest Kingdom, and we are children of the great King Jesus. The kingdom of God is the only thing that is worth living for, and dieing for, because it's the only thing that will remain. Let that drive you.

I feel that I want to share some of my thoughts as of late, because I believe in fellowshipping and sharing what God's doing in us we can spur one another on to serving him, which ultimately means more worship being released to God. Because our lives are worship, amen? A life of praise...spicy...

I've been feeling a lot of things lately - as usual - some good, some hard, all encouraging. I feel as if I'm in sort of a spiritual stage fright. That I'm on the brink of something huge. On the brink of seeing more of the Kingdom of God than I ever have. I feel this for the body as a whole as well. I talked about the cross roads that I feel we're at as a generation. I'd like to cloak the entire body with that word too. God is on the move today! NOW! And if we have HIM, we have EVERYTHING. Think of anything you need. Need healing? You have it because God the Father has GIVEN the SON. We have healing because we have Jesus. Luke 12:32 says, "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom." Think about that. The KINGDOM....of God. It's in YOU. You're born again? You have the kingdom of God in you. OOO! Sends shivers up my spine just thinking about it. Somewhere in the gospels it says ...oh, found it...Luke 17:20-21 "The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'there it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you." Cool eh? Take those words and let them burn in your heart, because if you do, we will behold the glory of the Lord here in our midst.

I was talking before about stage fright. About being on the brink of something but hesitant to jump in. It's pathetic really. My own apathy is what's holding me back from experiencing more of God. And we must understand, friends, that God teaches us things in mysterious ways, and we're on a journey with Him. We must not lose heart and think that we are all just gonna grow like crazy all the time! It's a process. Sometimes I wanna run this thing like a sprint, but God wants to pace it out like a journey. We do need to take the time and rest in him. That's where I'm at right now. Physically and spiritually. My physical weakness is forcing me to it, and I think that it's no coincidence that my physical weakness mirrors my spiritual weakness.

I feel like my standard of holiness is too low, my prayer life is lacking, my knowledge of the word is fleeting, my undestanding of worship is miniscule, my love for others is too shallow, my revelation of Jesus - pitiful. I feel as though I'm so comfortable where i'm at, and it's keeping me from the things of God. Why do church services feel so dead? I believe one reason is we have a poor revelation of how real God is, and what he's done for us. God's been like slapping me in the face, in a sense, to realize how real he is. And he's pushing me to believe he is the same God TODAY as he was when he walked the earth. I believe the power of Jesus can break for in my work place, to anyone at any time. I do believe it. Help me believe it and step out God!

I feel like ALL the passion I've experienced in my life...like ALL of it. All the amazing worship times, the times of revelation in his word, the deep groaning times of intercession, the times of breaking and humility, the times of reveling in His Spirit,...EVERYTHING up till now has only brought me to the place where I'm almost ready to really surrender my life to him. He's been awakening old passions from past seasons in my life again. It's like starting over! And I feel like he's bringing me to the place of total abandonment to him. I feel like a lot of things in my life God is wanting to change. Spiritual disciplines he is wanting me to re-adopt. Such as daily prayer, and devotions that somehow slip off my schedule time to time. He is pushing me deeper and higher at the same time. Many people I've talked to are sorta in that same place. It's a scary place to be in! Walking with Christ isn't easy! It's a great and terrible thing to fall into the hands of God. It has a COST. There is a cost to following him, and it's more than we think it is. We are frugal in giving ourselves to the Lord. He is worthy of so much more than I can give. In view of His mercies, I present myself as a living sacrifice. I know this isn't new at all, and reading other blogs a lot of people are going through the same thing. So I wanna let it be known that I'm a believer in the Kingdom of God, and I will walk with my King to whatever end. Lord bring me to the place of surrender. I'm not there yet, but lead me day by day. That I would live and die for the things of your heart. You are all my goodness, there's nothing left to say.

So take courage children of God. Know who you serve. Be rooted and established in his love. It's time to pray! It's time to let the word of God cut deep into us! It's time to praise! It's time to dream! There is an anointing to RUN right now. I haven't felt if for a long time, but there is an anointing to run and not get weary, to walk and not faint. Receive the strength of heaven. It's time to step out in ways we never have before. Lets leave our fear and apathy at the cross and walk out into this battle with Jesus. Be blessed.

your brother, jeF

TUNES/CONCERTS: Annadonia-IMR (show this saturday, 8:30 $7 the purple onion, go to imr.ca for details) Pedro the lion, Maplewood lane, Kevin Prosche, Ari Neufeld

2003-12-24T10:57:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone,

My name is: I am chlorinated to the bone, dead tired, and all I can think about is spinal clamps, obstructed airways, and senior citizen seizures!

...in other words, I'm doing lifeguarding courses right now, ...and having a jolly good time. I have no concept of what day it is, or what time of year it is, and who I haven't seen in how long or anything! YAY! But I love you all! Welcome to Lydia's house! It's good to be home among hearts that love his name. We're a people in love with YOU JESUS!

So, as promised, I'm gonna open up this blog as more of a forum of discussion on things concerning the Hope of Glory, the Great King Jesus is his name, and how we can love him with an undying love. SO! To start out, I ask this simple question. Feel free to answer it personally. I mean something that's SO REAL to you...not just some dumb empty sunday school answer.

WHY do you love Jesus?

I leave it up to you. Tell your friends. Spread the word. Let worship flow in this place!

"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name." Hebrews 13:15

.........ready GO!

Tunes as of late: Wildings, ...strangely enough...Tiffany, IMR, Jars of Clay (thanks matt), Charlie Brown Christmas Jazz, and various Aquafit class mix tapes at the leisure center!

2003-12-10T06:04:00.000+08:00

This is a public service anouncement:
jepheriah.blogspot.com WILL NOW BE lydiashouse.blogspot.com
(sorry for those who will have to change the link on their site...it's for a good cause)

Hello everyone, seeing as I've had a lot of freetime lately, I got to thinking. I've told some of you about this whole "Lydia" idea of mine...it's something that came to me one time when I was reading Acts 16:11-15. It's a story of when Paul comes across a woman from Thyatira named "Lydia" who was "a worshipper of God". It got me thinking. What kind of a life did this woman Lydia live to be known in the land as "a worshipper of God"? It sparked a desire in me to be known as a worshipper of God. I believe God, as we speak, is raising up worshippers in this day who will make His praise glorious. Originally, I was gonna make a worship band with some friends that played "emo" worship. But, I slowly came to grips with the fact that none of us had time for another big project like that. So, I thought maybe in the future if I have a worship band that I record with or something, I could call it "Lydia". But until then, I want to transform my blog into "Lydia's House".

It will basically exactly the same thing as I've been doing: posts about what God is doing in me, what he is doing in the church, and what he's doing in the world. Everything published on this blog will be for the glory and praise of Jesus. But in changing the name to "Lydia's house" I want to make it more of a community, rather than just me posting my thoughts. It will be a Community of Worshippers. It is not for the faint of heart. It is for the passionate. It is for the undignified. It is for the warriors. It is for the chosen sons and daughters of the King, saved by his beautiful grace. It is for those who choose to fall on The Rock and be broken. It is for hearts that love His name. It is for the watchmen on the walls crying out for Revival, crying out for the Kingdom of God to manifest itself on the earth in our time. The apathetic need not come, neither should the complacent. Let us gather around the cross as a people aware of the grace in which we live. And let us spur one another on to worship Jesus with reverance and awe - not from a distance, but intimately as the friends of God should. I have decided that "there must be more". There must be more to see. There must be more to feel. There must be more of the heart of God that we haven't even experienced. I think it's worth seeking. Because seekers find, and askers receive, and knockers find open doors. Allow me to open up my doors...

Welcome to Lydia's House

2003-12-09T03:49:00.000+08:00

K, I've been thinking...my Hotmail email address isn't stinkin' doing the trick for me these days. I've had so many emails that I've sent and they gotten to the various recipients completely blank, plus I always get tons of junk mail. I'm thinkin' I've been on this one too long, and the junk mail people have found me, and yada yada yada...SO!

Could people tell me different FREE email services. I know know there's lots of cool ones out there. If I can't find a unique one, I guess I'll go to yahoo.ca, cuz they're pretty cool there. But if people could give me some ideas for email providers that would be great!

2003-12-05T12:25:00.000+08:00

There's a lot of things on my heart, and I wanna take a second to share some of them. So here we are in the valley. God is a God of mountain tops and valleys. He takes us to mountains and there he reveals himself to us. He shows us his power, and lets us feel his glory, and he breaks us with the beauty of his cross. But we cannot live on the mountains. He calls us to go into the valleys. The valley's of our day to day lives. Into the mundane. Into the ordinary. Into our struggles that we don't know why we still have when we get back to the valleys. To our homes that sometimes need as much healing as the nations we are so passionate about reaching for Christ. I know you've heard all this before, but I just feel it burning in my heart. That we need to take the things God impressed on our hearts on the mountain, DOWN into the valley. We are a people in need of God. We are a broken people at the feet of a merciful God. And all the things God has challenged me with at the Take Hold conference and at Worship Invasion with Nolan, he is still challenging me with in the valleys. And I was thinking today that sometimes, I think, Jesus might like the valleys more, because it's in the valleys (the dry times, the alone times) that we come to grips with the reality of our hearts. It's those times we come as we truly are. We find out where we are really at. And I feel to speak hope into people entering their valley's again because it's in those places that God wants to give you life abundant. Abundant life.
In John 10 Jesus tells the parable of the sheep and His flock. We are sheep in need of a shephard. I'm finding out that He's a good shephard. He says in vs.10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I HAVE COME that they may have LIFE, and have it to the full." (emphasis added). It's in those valley's that he wants us to learn what life with Christ can be like. Because Jesus came to earth, and he made the mundane things full of life, and the simple things became the most world changing. He came to love those with no hope whatsoever, to show respect, dignity, and amazing love to those outcasted from society, he came to heal the sick. So much of this was just on the street when he was walking from place to place. He was tired, hungry, yet he knew who he was, and he was The Life. Capital T, and L. It's this life that Jesus longs to give to us. He is living in us, and he wants to let it overflow into our regular day to day lives. He wants to see real break through in our lives. Not just on the mountain tops. Love the mountains, God blesses the mountain tops, but he longs for the valleys, and I feel that so many times...his heart beat is in the valleys.

I just feel...I feel like he wants to surprise us with his love. Like he wants us to walk with him and talk with him like a friend. He's not so far away. he might feel it, but he's not. He's shown me that time and time again. We need that. I want the life of Jesus to shape the way I have devotions with him when the last thing I wanna do in the morning is pray outloud in my car, and learn from him in the word. I want the life of Jesus to shape the way I interact at work...when all I want to keep to myself and just get through the day...how many oppertunities have I missed to share Jesus with my co-workers because of that? And it's not a big trip either, I think Jesus wants to meet us in it, and we will see the beauty of Christ released wherever we go in such a genuine and real way that people will see beyond our feeble spirituality, and see to what burns in us - the love of Jesus. His love knows no bounds. It crosses every border that we, or anyone could ever set up against it. It crosses the borders of personal failure - where the world would say a mistake will follow you the rest of your life, the Love of Jesus says forgiveness. It crosses the borders of guilt and shame and restores us in the core of who we are. It crosses the borders of our hopeless striving - and releases us to just be a broken people at his feet...all we need be is filled with who he is. Eph 3: 14-21 Please read this, and pray it over yourself. That's what I'm gonna do after this post. :)

The other thing was that we need eachother in the body of Christ! I was so blessed at youth group on tuesday when we had the "you preach it" night. God totally spoke to us. And I really believe in these days that God has us in. Days of preperation, of seeking his face, of stripping off the things that hinder us from running the race with God, that he is dropping truth, and wisdom into the hearts of the youth, and it's meant for sharing with eachother as brothers and sisters. God has given you ears that hear what he is saying if you'll use them. Thanks to everyone who spoke tuesday. You encouraged and challenged me greatly. We MUST do it more, because the word of the Lord was so rich in that room. Joel 2, and Acts 2 say that you're sons and daughters will prophesy. I think we witnessed some measure of that on tuesday.

Bless each of you. I love loving Jesus with you. It's an adventure with many twists and turns, and ups and downs. But he is faithful to bring us through.

"Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love." Eph 6:24

TUNES AS OF LATE/MUSIC NEWS: Blindside, KEVIN PROSCHE- Palanquinn (there is an anointing of healing on this album...if you need some...check it out), Foo Fighters, Sigur Ros, Radiohead -like spinning plates.

BLINDSIDE has released a NEW SINGLE on their site (www.blindsideonline.com) at the top right of the screen, called "About a burning flame" it is revolutionary...however, it is not for the faint of heart. Check it out.

JUST STAY CALM...RULES! And they have a single that they released. Check these guys out at juststaycalm.com sign up for their mailing list and see them live...and be blown away. Go to soundmine.cjb.net and click on demos and look for their track. It might be temporarily down because mp3.com isn't working...but they have some sound clips on their site. but go see them live!

SWITCHFOOT...is on the FOX!!! So, if anyone is interested, call the FOX and request Switchfoots "Meant to live" song. It's awesome, or go to CFOX.com I think...and request it there along with whatever else like...POD's new song WILL YOU, or IMR's Wise Investors, etc...

2003-12-02T12:06:00.000+08:00

...i'm trying to figure out this whole color deal...give me some time...
-jeF

Matt 11:12

2003-11-25T10:27:00.000+08:00

"I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse,
whose rider is called Faithful and True." Rev 19:11a

Wow. God is so faithful. Time and time again, he always fulfills his promises. It's not always when we want it...in fact I can't remember once when it was when I wanted it to be. But he IS good, and his love DOES endure forever. Many of you who are reading this attended the "Take Hold Conference" this past weekend. Those who didn't, I''ll fill you in on what God was doing a little bit, because I believe what happen this weekend was not only for those who came, but it was a transitional time of breakthrough for the body of CHrist in our area. Like our speaker Darren said on the last night, "This wasn't a conference, this was a meeting place between God and his children. It was an encounter". And that's what it truly was. God did something so powerful this weekend in each person that was there. It was amazing. Not one person was untouched by the power of God. Many different things happened. Many of us, mabe for the first time, experienced the cross of Christ. THe cross became real, not just a story, or a cliche. It became the object of scorn that it was...and how our King, Jesus, hung on it and became the sin offereing for OUR sin. Many of us were confronted about sin in our lives. God brought the knife down on the things in our life that were quenching the Spirit and hindering us from running the race God has for us. Conviction is so healthy. God disciplines the ones he loves. He would not completely love us if he did not discipline us. We must accept discipline, and the grace that flows with it. Not condemnation, but discipline and grace. Many of us were released in worship in new ways! The Spirit of God was so moving through the worship the entire weekend. I didn't know what to do with myself. Most of the time I was speachless. Literaly. But often this weekend I was speechless. Just standing in awe of God, and trying to piece together all the things he was speaking to me about, and also speaking to the youth in Maple Ridge about as a whole. Because this was very much a transitional moment for the youth in Maple Ridge. The Arts were released in worship this weekend. Sarah Osborne painted during the worship times as a part of the corporate expression of worship. We had dancers the whole weekend worshipping God with movement, emotion, and passion. They blessed me so much. God is raising up the arts to glorify his name, and I believe he wants the church to rise up with the creative gifts they have to use them to worship God, and the quality of the art/worship will make the world turn and wonder. They will marvel at the creativity of the artists in the church. I believe God will bring artists OUT of the chuch to impact the art community. We have the creator inside of us, therefore we have all the creativity in the universe. Lets channel our art as expressions of praise and worship to our God - the Wonderful Maker.

Darren Jones, a humble man from Kamloops with a heart for revival, spoke to us and challenged us on so many levels. The word of God was opened up to us in new ways as we sat and learned from Jesus. Many heavy words were shared. Words that revealed how much the nation of Canada needed the transforming power of God. Words that revealed our apathy. Words that convicted us of comprimise and hypocricy. But that's not all. Through it all, God brought encouragement, and reassurance that He was on the move in the world, globally, more today than ever before in the history of the church. That more people are coming to Christ at single alter calls than have been reached in the past 10 years. In Africa, recently 1.3 million people came to Christ in a single alter call. Don't tell me God's not moving. But what God really did in us this weekend was He challenged us to become Kingdom minded. To have hearts that love his name, and that love what he's doing, and that want to be a part of it. Hearts that are not satisfied with the state of our nation. Hearts that will cry out for a mighty move of God in OUR towns and cities. And will not only cry out for it, but will actually go out and work for it. To evangelise. To live holy lives. To live lives of love to everyone. To live lives of worship. To be devoted to the word. To honor our pastors and leaders, and work for unity in our churches. And so many things. Basically to live lives worthy of the gospel. to actually embody the gospel in our daily walks. EVEN IF IT HURTS AND YOU DON'T FEEL IT. Be faithful in the little and God will give you more. "whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of CHrist." Phil 1:27a

He will meet us in this. He will give dreams and visions and passion to those who are hungry and commited. I believe that by the grace of God, He will awaken dreams in your heart. Dreams and visions to expand the kingdom of God on earth. We are part of a GREAT Kingdom, friends. The Great Kingdom of God. It is the only thing to live for. And as Darren pointed out from Ecclesiastes this weekend, "everthing else is meaningless". God wants us to commit to his kingdom. He wants committed followers who are kingdom minded. And I mean that seriously. I'm NOT talking, conference hype hungry, I'm talking about when you're all alone, and you can't feel God's presence at all, and you feel useless, and left out, and even doubting if God really wants to do this or not, but choosing to press in to God and believe in what he's doing, and commiting your all to him. I mean your all. That means your time. What you do with your time, what you watch, be it movies of TV, your money, your energy. Like Darren said this weekend, to reach this nation we must let our flesh die, and let our spirit live. This takes discipline. You can spiritualize it all you want, but when all is said and done, you can allow the Spirit of God to rise up in your spirit, or you can let your flesh dictate how you live your life. I'm talking about surrender. It's not just a cool song. It hurts. It's painful. It's hard. But it's the path God would have you take. It's not all like that, because God brings you through seasons of tears and into seasons of joy. But you can't experience the seasons of joy if you haven't sown in tears. "God looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God." Psalm 53:2 I have been challenged so deeply with these things. I mean that. All of these challenges just rang in my spirit all day at work today. It's a cross roads time, friends. I feel it burning in my spirit. Maple Ridge is at a cross roads. The youth are at a cross roads. Who will hear the cry of His heart?

...it's time to dream again...

2003-11-13T13:26:00.000+08:00

Greetings to anyone who happens to care about this sorry excuse for a blog!

Five Iron Frenzy, people. Five Iron Frenzy. Three simple words right? WRONG! These three simple words are the name of one of the best bands out there in Christian music. FIF has anounced that they are breaking up, and are currently on their farewell tour called, "Winners never quit" (that's a reference to a Pedro the lion song, if you guys didn't know...FIF are huge Pedro fans). Me and my sister got a chance to see them play on their farewell tour in seattle this last sunday night. It was a crazy weekend...quite a rollercoaster I must say. What with IMR playing on friday with Hejira...Sunday morning church, then Bev Mah's memorial (which was one of the most beautiful things I've ever encountered in my entire life by the way...she is a hero to say the least...dance Bev...dance) and then I left right after that for FIF in seattle.

It was a Christmas present for my sister. I'm in to giving experiences for presents rather than material things. Because we'll never forget the memories and experiences. You might break a toy, or lose a book, or step on a CD, but an evening together is unforgetable...(that was heavy on the cheese...and I apologize...it will never happen again...maybe)

So, among other things, this post is dedicated to Five Iron Frenzy, and to encourage all of you who haven't experienced these guys' music, hearts, and humor to...EXPERIENCE...NOW! THey have a perfect combination of straight up wierd and goofy, combined with totally deep insights into life in the church, and in society, combined with amazing songs of dedication and extravagant worship. They are totally rad, and I would publically state that FIF is and will remain one of my fav bands of all time. I leave you with some random FIF lyrics for your personal enjoyment. OH!!! AND!!! JUST STAY CALM (another dope band) is playing a show this saturday at 7:30pm at Surrey Alliance Church (13474 King George highway) and it cost $3. THere's three bands playing for 3 bucks. Definately checking out. ALSO Norm Strauss, Andrew Smith and Sherry funk from "Say No More"...are playing at Russ Rosen's place (The Dance Barn) for $15 bucks. It'll be a living room concert. Very intimate, and cool. THe more people that come, the more we can just bless these guys. They have blessed me so much through their music and speaking. IF you're interested. GO! Back to the lyrics!

Banner Year (From "Our Newest album ever") A song, blunt and strong, about the Native people of america, and all the injustice done to them. NOTE: A lot of the time Reese isn't singing from his own stand point.

A banner year 1864 don't want the red man any more
Can't have them taking up good land
Give them a token flag, trade pipes and shake some hands
Tell them the white stripes stand for peace
Say if they raise red, white, and blue, blue coats will never shoot at you
Black Kettle was their chief, he only wanted peace under the flag...
a massacre at Sand Creek

Wave your flag, salivate
Stirring feelings of pride and hate
A piece of cloth can't hold your faith

A banner year, 1868. A bitter end a twist of fate
Maos won't hold this malenoma, blurry part of Oaklohoma
Where Custer shot and killed Black kettle

No flag flies, no banner waves,
see the empty pole upon this empty grave
No one knows where he lies
and no one knows why he had to die

A promise, is a promise. A judge of character
His banner over me is love

Dandelions (From "Quantity is job 1") A song of the grace of God

In a field of yellow flowers underneath the sun
Bluest eyes that spark with lightning
Boy with shoes undone
He is young so full of hope, reveling in tiny dreams
Filling up his arms with flowers right for giving any queen
Running to her beaming bright well cradling his prize
A flickering of yellowlight within his mothers eyes
She holds them to her heart keeping them where they'll be safe
Clasped within her very marrow Dandelions in a vase

She sees love where anyone else would see weeds
All hope is found, here is everything he needs

Fathomless Your endless mercy, weight I could not lift
Where do I fit in this puzzle, what good are these gifts?
Not a martyr or a saint, scarcely can I struggle through
All that I have ever wanted was to give my best to You

Lord, search my heart, create in me something clean
Dandelions, You see FLOWERS in these WEEDS

Gently lifting hands to heaven, softened by the sweetest hush
A father sings over his children loving them so very much
More than words could warrent, deeper than the darkest blue
More than sacrifice could merit, Lord I give my heart to You

WHen I go out (same album) ...no need to explain this one

When I go out
I play in the street
I get hit by cars
I eat mashed potatoes
I get hit by cars

A New Hope (from "All the hype money can buy") A song about Columbine Highschool...they live there

Amy's going back to school today
elation, jubiltion streams from her face
Did the halls smell of gun powder still?
What makes the human mind dark enough to kill?

A new hope, where is your freedom
A new hope, cast off your burdens

A darker world lies behind this one
cryptic it hides beneath perception
we all saw it on that day
Stunned we stood stuttering, "What did the news say?"

Peace floods us by hope we steer
Our dark hearts salvaged we live without fear
(over and over, crazy cool build up!)

Spartan (From my favourite album "Electiric Boogaloo: 2"...which might be tied for my fav album with "Our newest album ever though) Spartan: n.1 A warrior from the ancient greek city of Sparta. 2 adj. One who lives modestly. Used to describe a hermit someone who lives in squalor and lonliness.

Billie holiday on the radio, my sluggish heart is beating seven beats to slow
another sad song and another shot of blue, cold and unconcerned are anything but new
He said, "Love endures all things" and it hurts to think He's right.
If I mark the span of failure is his burden just as light?

I am Spartan, close my heart so tight
Jesus, save me, from myself tonight

Limping through the world there's a knowing look or two
Is it just the cripples here who understand the truth
WHy's love so painful, why do we always lose
paving pathways for the lost, the bitter and recluse?
He said, "Love endures all things" and it hurts to think it's true
Did it nail Him to a cross, did it crucify Him too?

Bridge:
The angels are singing over the plain, the shephards are quaking echoing refrains
ANd all of our slogans designed to take away the pain meant nothing to the Son of God that night in Bethlehem.

You can't handle this (from "Electric Boogaloo)

Making young girls pine, I don't have the time
Babies get in line, I've got a protractor!
Got a stapler now it goes Ka-ching, gotta have the math club crown me king
Got rock the screen with COSINE graphing on my calculator!

If you're up, and if you want a piece of me
Wave good bye, and blow a kiss cuz you can't handle this

No, no no, you can't handle this (2x)

Through my glasses glare, you'll see savoir faire.
Beneath my icy stare I've got a retainer
Maybe I'm the physics main event, maybe I'm the chem club president
Maybe even Texas instruments thinks I'm C.C. Planer

If you're up....etc.... then chorus

bridge:
And lenard Nemoy can't stand up to this,
And Captain James T. Kirk bows beneath my fists
ANd I am awesome....awesome! I AM THE AWESOMEST!!!

....there's SO Many more...want more? www.fiveironfrenzy.com

peace!
jeF

2003-11-07T11:14:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone,

Lately I've had mixed emotions...Many of you know how I've been sick for the last few days (Kate's the best, she brought me a care package...is Kate not the best friend to everyone she knows? Really!). I find that when I get sick I enter this like...alter reality...or something...it's like I'm not really there...and everything is confusing and I become someone else. It's kinda hard to explain...maybe that's the drugs...but I'm not so sure. There's something about being sick that always makes me feel afraid, or alone, or both. (Here I lay all alone, in the unlonliest place I know...line for a poem?) You know how when you're sick you always wanna be with your parents, or at least know that they're there. It's like that... It's so wierd to feel all alone in my beautiful house, with all my beautiful things, and even with God at my side. I just couldn't escape the feeling of lonliness, and I was frustrated. I felt far away...far away from my family, far away from my own mind even, and I really felt far away from God. When I felt this I, naturally, tried to ignore it and "do all the right things" that a Christian should do. Like make sure I was reading the bible enough, and praying enough, etc... But I finally just broke down right in the middle of one of my bedtime prayers to God...it was like this explosion of emotion and I began to truly tell God how I felt. It was...real...not candy coated. I hadn't cried for a while, but at that moment, there was no shortage of tears. I was sick, trying to get to sleep with a headache, frustrated, worried about a whole bunch of commitments ahead of me, and worst of all, I was alone. But there's something about releasing all your emotions to God that gives you peace afterwards. You know that feeling after you're cried? It's a just like this weight had been lifted off of me.

It seems like in those times I start thinking that there's this formula for trying to get closer to God...like if I say the right things, and remember the right teachings, and sermons, and verses, and songs, and christian slogans, or whatever...and it's like this useless striving. God is not met through "10 easy steps to a closer relationship with God" although you could very well meet God through those ten easy steps...I love the steps...the steps are great...especially the 3rd step...watch the 5th one though, it's a doozie...k, I'm done. But it's about just putting your gaurd down. that's what it's about. It's about not putting up some sort of front. It's about being broken. ...Broken...I haven't used that word for a long time...and it's all of the sudden been given new meaning to me...That's what I want to be, broken before the Lord. Let me find that verse...you know the one, the famous Mr.Kennedy verse..."The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone. Everyone who FALLS on that stone will be BROKEN to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed." Luke 20: 17-18.

In the moment of suffereing, I can almost convince myself with some sort of religiousity or false zeal, that I'm ok. But really I need help! I need to vocalize my feelings and receive from my God. It's times like these when you're sick and in bed, and you have nothing going for you, that you realize your need for him. You don't notice it sometimes when you're out and about and rolling and feeling fine and doing stuff for God. But spend a few days bedridden,...man...humbled me. There's ALWAYS room for more humility, believe you me. It's number 1 on my list. Everything springs from that posture of humility. Genuine, and reverent worship...worship with trembling...flows from there...when you know who it is you worship...and YA! After that night, gradually, I felt the natural worship from my heart to him just begin to flow again. Ever notice when your discouraged or even angry with God that the worship is kinda dried up in you? That's where I was at the last few days. But God isn't afraid of you being angry at him, or discouraged. He's not turned off by those things. He's near to you in those times. But what we do is we don't feel like we can express those feelings to him and still be "close to him" or have that warm mushy spiritual feeling. I'm learning that it's ok to walk through times where you don't have that feeling. But if we are honest with God and tell him what's in our heart (as if we can hide it from him anyways) he can take the emotions and questions and give us peace, and answers. And the flow of worship won't be dried up.

It's a time of great loss in our church, and I feel it everyday, but I feel this burning desire just to praise Jesus. He is beautiful. Where would I be without him? Where would I be without his mercy and grace? I don't know... Where would I be without him by my side...as my friend...Emmanuel God with us. I'd be lost and all alone. Jesus you fill my heart with wonder...I'm taken with you.

"Lord you're near to those who are discouraged
You save those who have lost all hope
You've taken my sorrow and surrounded me with joy
You're here with me, Your touch gives me life

To You O Lord, musst the glory be given (repeat...over and over and over forever)

Lord, You're near, I feel secure, nothing can take me
I know Your love will be with me for all time
Oh Lord You know what I long for
You're all I want in this life, don't leave me

Praise him, praise him, praise him.....etc..."

~Samuel Lane's "Lord You're Near" off of the worship CD Beautiful

blessings be upon you all
jeF

CONCERTS: FRIDAY!!! NOV 7TH!!! Ethical Addictions Langley 10pm like...$5 I think. IN MEDIAS RES, HEJIRA, WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM...COME!!!

2003-10-28T09:33:00.000+08:00

Sigh...I'm home

Let me just say that I am at a loss for words... it's next to impossible for me to sum up my trip to California with Ryan, John, and Dave, and all the awesomeness that occured.
The coasters at Six Flags are STINKIN RAD! And by stinkin RAD I mean incredibley AWESOME, and by incredibly AWESOME I mean absolutely INSANE, and when I say....ok, you get the point.

We left langley in John's pontiac sunfire (which didn't have all that much room to tell you the truth) at 10 pm thursday night. Drove all night all day and made it to Valencia California at like 5:30. So we made excellent time...I think that's like 19.5 hours. ...thanks to Ryan and John's superior road trip driving skills, and little to no stops the entire way! HORRAY FOR UTTERLY DISCUSTING WASHROOMS IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE AT 4:00 AM! I've never utilized so many absurdly gross washrooms in my entire life. OH OH! On the way back, ...this was so scary, we stopped at this hick town of ALL hick towns to fill up with gas and use the washrooms, and this place is like absolutely halarious, it's SOOO old, and there's this dude in a rocking chair on the porch smoking up, and stuff, ...he let us in to the store which like doubles as his house/his restaurant. It was so creepy. license plates hanging everywhere, a few dead animal trophies, ...etc. And Ryan walks in the washroom and just FREAKS OUT...like..."HOLY CRAP!!!" or something that meant that, and he's like, Jeff come over here! So I go to look in the washroom, and you open the door, and you see this bathtub with this woman sitting in it, with this flowery dress, and it's the looking right at you...it was a manican! It was the scariest thing I've seen in my life. And the whole time your using the can, her head is turned right at you, ...and she didn't have a left hand...just a duck tape stubby. ...these are the things horror movies are made of friends...[shudder]. That's just one of many experiences we had on this epic journey through the good old US of A.

Our time in the park had it's ups and downs. Many of you will know that there was crazy wild fire problems in Valencia from the news...ya that was right behind six flags...but they never evacuated it! WOO! It was really hot the whole time which made it rad to go on all the water oriented rides, like the wild rapids (a big circular boat that bombs down rapids, and you come out drenched) and the log ride. HA! While we were waiting for the log ride to open, cuz it was like 10 to 12, and the sign in front of it said the ride opened at 12, a whole bunch of people were coming up to us and asking us when it was gonna be opening and stuff...as if we were in direct communication with the six flags staff and we had the 411 on the status of the ride. We had so many people come and ask us when it was gonna open that we started making up stories as to why it wasn't open yet. This one young group of teenage girls came up to us and asked us when it would be opening and John's like, "Well, the deal is one of the boats is taking on water, so they're trying to fix the whole in the boat" and she's like "oh really?" And I'm like, "Ya, basically they told us that all the boats are almost sinking right now, so we have no idea when it's gonna open" And she TOTALLY bought it. It was histarical. Especially for the people in line right behind us who had seen all the other people come and ask us about the ride and stuff. Everyone had a good laugh. As we were climbing into the ride, me and john went into the front section, which was meant for 2 people, and Ryan and Dave got in the back, but Dave decided it would be a good idea to try and fit into the front with me and john...and Dave's no small guy, and so he's squishing in behind me, and we're laughing our heads off while the whole line behind us is watching us float down the ride with three guys squished into the front, and ryan sitting in the back doubled over laughing. It was halarious. Once we got on the ride, ...and this was bound to happen, Ryan started a water fight by scooping up water and splashing me right in the face. After that, it was ON! We spent the rest of the ride scooping water onto Ryan, and ...ya...everyone was allllll wet.

Man...so many things happened...go check out the site and stuff for all the descriptions of all the cool coasters if you want, I don't want to try to explain them all. It's a long story, but we ended up getting a handicap access pass to all the rides....again...long story. But it basically enabled us to walk through the exit of any ride and get a time from the operator of the ride of when we can come back and go right onto the ride without any line ups. Like...if the line up was say 4 hours, cuz there was literally 4 hour waits for some of the big coasters, he would give us a time to come back at 4 hours later, and we could walk through the exit, and go right onto the ride. So we basically could plan out our days and go on coaster after coaster without any line ups! IT RULED!!! Plus we got a free meal ticket for use inside the park.

We ended off our trip by going to the Olive Garden Sunday night before leaving Cali, and I had bought these sparkly silver rock star glasses, and we went into the place and just laughed our heads off the whole time. We had the best service EVER...like literally, I've never had a better server than the girl we had. I'd be eating and be thinking, I'm almost done my drink, and then without even noticing, whe would come by and plunk another drink beside me, and I would look up and I would have two drinks in front of me...it was nuts! And she gave us a whole bunch of free stuff, and we were all joking around cuz we from Canada and stuff...oh man...it was riot, I was sore from laughing so hard. She was sprinkling cheese on our meals and stuff, and she's like, do you want some cheese on your pizza, and I'm like, "Whyyy not, I'm not driving!" And everyone was just about falling out of the booth. It was utter radness.

Other than that the trip sucked and no one should ever go cuz it's a waste of time and money...and yes, that IS all

God bless America....a place...for Americans
jeF

2003-10-24T09:42:00.000+08:00

Sigh...it's rough you know? Sitting here...waiting for Ryan Wray to walk through my door and then drive over to John Dewitts house, and then drive straight down 20 hours to Six Flags California...I mean, I'm a reasonable man,...I don't ask for much in life...it's just tough sometimes you know? I mean, the weather is supposed to be sunny the whole time with "unseasonably high temperatures" and everything, but I mean, it's nothing to get excited about. And I mean, 3 days at Six Flags of the most amazing rollercoasters in California is...something I guess. It's not much, but it's something to look forward to....it's better than work I suppose...those are my thoughts...hope you all enjoy your weekend...and we'll see ya tuesday.

jeF

Tunes as of late: Free falling, Born to be wild, Where the streets have no name, St.Germain the tourist.

2003-10-12T16:44:00.000+08:00

Hey...it's 1:13 am saturday night/sunday morning...I gotta process some stuff here that's been on my heart...I already processed it a bit tonight when I talked about where I was at with my bro earlier this evening, so it won't come out as poetic or profound as before...but here's where I'm at.

I'm just broken...broken for a few reasons. The biggest one is for Bev Mah, who went to Emergency at Maple Ridge tonight because she developed an infection on her leg and her white blood cell count is so low that it can't fight the infection properly. Those are the details I know. I was hanging out with some good friends at Liz's house and my mom phoned about it, and our thanksgiving party turned into the weeping room of intercession and stuff...it was so natural though. I couldn't hold back anything, I just wept for Bev, petitioning heaven for a miracle to end the injustice of cancer in her body. It was amazing as we all joined in prayer for her and agreed together for her comfort, and for the comfort of her family. It was amazing when Adam read out Psalm 23 and placed Bev's name in it instead of David speaking in the 1st person. It was this prophetic statement of faith...I thought about it after when I was talking to Mary P (yes, the P from Jesus School) about how this is church. THIS is church. Mourning with those who mourn, and rejoicing with those who rejoice, and coming together to stand by and fight for our brothers and sisters. It's these moments that define the church and what it means to be a body, and that if one part suffers everyone suffers. Even the people that didn't know her were united to her by the Spirit of God and prayed for her. And it's not just a theological idea...or concept...this is a human being. This is a woman. She's a daughter of the great King Jesus. She's a fighter. People are what God cares about. And I just feel this pounding in my Spirit....this sense of the Warrior Christ rising to fight for His children he loves. It's like...God will not stand idley by and watch his kids suffer at the merciless hands of cancer. It's like the Israelites trapped at the sea with the Egyptians coming against them and the people are freaking out and the Lord speaks through Moses and says something like, "The Lord of Hosts will do battle for us, you need only to be still." (Exd 14) And it's like...God come and defend your bride. Arise Warrior Christ. We are your body, but you are the head. Fight for your kids...

And it's like in times like this it would be easy to wonder about the healing power of God. It's like I feel this mockery from the enemies camp....like..."where is your God now....is his hand to short to save....?" ANd I'll have none of it (to quote Amy Enns). Seriously, I will not take any of that from the enemy. It's lies, and one day every knee will bow to Jesus. I will bow now. And I'm gonna bow low before my King. And I believe who he says he is. That he is the Healer...What's that verse...and he will rise with healing in his wings....something something... And it's like in times like this I wanna declare the kingdom of God all the louder, and with more passion, and it's almost like the attempts of the enemy to dampen my spirit and quench my faith are only fueling my passion and empowering my faith to new levels. I believe Jesus, and I believe he is alive and well, and that he died, but death could not hold him. In fact death was swallowed up in victory, and he walked the earth teaching about the kingdom of God before he ascended to the right hand of God where he ever lives to make intercession for the church! that's where he is right now, he is pouring out his heart before the throne of grace for Bev....right now. And it's like...God, take my to the throne with you. I want to come to the weeping room too. I want my tears to fall at your feet Father. Would you teach me of intercession. I don't know how to pray. Teach me to pray like you do Daddy. I wanna know your heart....

And it's like there's this verse about redeeming the times because the days are evil...and I wanna do that...I wanna make use of the time I have here on earth. I wanna fight for my king, because when we go to heaven, there will be no more battles to be fought. Their all over! It's just victory and glory, and praise for eternity. (which I also have NO revelation of whatsoever...this thing about eternity in heaven...I don't understand it, but I've seen enough of God to believe it....."blessed are those who believe yet have not seen") So here on earth we have the chance to enter into the sufferings of Christ. It says somewhere that there was glory in Christ's suffering. That that suffering was his glory...I'll have to look that up....anyone who knows where I'm talking about, respond and give a reference. But it's just like...I wanna redeem the time...I wanna make use of this time on earth and be kingdom minded. Because apart from the kingdom of God, there is nothing to live for on earth. Everything will pass away except the kingdom of God. THe perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable. The kingdom IS in fact a person. The Kingdom is Christ. He embodied the Kingdom on earth. So should we be kingdom minded people, because the Spirit of God is IN us, and we carry the kingdom of God inside of us!!!

And so here I sit at the feet of Jesus and I say, Jesus...I believe you are who you say you are. That you're not a man who lived in a book....but that you are real, and your power is real today. I want to live in faith, but I also want to trust in your sovereignty. Show me that balance. Draw me into intercession. Draw me into deeper understanding of who you are and what makes your heart weep...and how I can have this heart in me. I believe in an unbelieving world. You ARE good, even though suffering runs rampant in your church...your beloved bride. Your sovereignty is a mystery, and often it hurts...and I don't understand...but I love you...I just love you.

"You know I believe you when you say that you love me,
You know I believe you when you tell me, you're not leaving.
Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you O my Lord."
~The Wildings

jeF

Tunes as of late: "Beautiful" ...vineyard worship CD...go buy it. Matt Redman. Radiohead-AMNESIAC, Switchfoot

I've just had enough. I've had enough of the injustice, and of the works of the enemy in the body

2003-10-05T02:11:00.000+08:00

Hello all,

Wow, tons has happened since I last wrote on here...so it's hard to chose what to write about. Before I start I want to say that those who didn't go and see IMR play friday at UBC missed out BIG time. It was the tightest show I've ever seen them play. It had everyone on the edge of there seats begging for more. I litterly DID beg for more...i started calling for an encore and everyone joined in, and Andrew came up and played one of their older songs that they never play during regular sets, and the whole band joined them...and WOW! It was an amazingly emo experience. From the quietest muted strumming and singing one second, to the loudest crescendo EVER. In the words of the teen girl squad....Sooooo good! NEXT SHOW: OCT 9th, TRINITY WESTERN. Go to site (www.imr.ca) sign up for their mailing list, and check the show listings on the site to find out specific details. OK! Done and done.

I'm doing my Bronze Cross exam tonight. I hope I pass. I feel pretty confident. I'm going early to help my friend Dave study, because he missed a class. ANd you miss a lot when you miss a class cuz they're 4.5 hours long. So pray for me if you feel to.

Lately I've been rejoicing, grieving, burning, prophesying, and dwelling in the presence of Jesus. They're has been so much that has just pushed me into the arms of Jesus lately. I find my hunger for him is growing, and he's speaking to me clearly from the word. ...I don't really know what to say, but the chorus of these songs really captures where I'm at:

"I don't know how to explain it,
My heart, it cannot contain it,
I just love you. I just love you.
And I just wanna be with you
I just wanna be with you." -me

"Make me understand all these wounds that need some healing,
I want to believe in these wounds that release me to you" - IMR

I can't really concentrate right now with my course on my mind...and my sister doing a kickboxing workout to some 90's techno. Very inspiring...and scary.

jeF

TUNES AS OF LATE: IMR, Hejira, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, JUST STAY CALM

Scripture as of late: Phil 1, Luke 1-3 (read about the birth of Jesus, and John the baptist....and make sure you read about simeon!) , Leviticus...something